Columns Jan 11, 2012 at 4:00 am

Santorum Surges

Comments

1
I understand that in New Hampshire, Willard Romney is licking Santorum.
2
Very well said Dan.

As I type this, I see that Santorum is a distant 5th in New Hampshire and falling like a rock.
3
If I called you a "faggot", or "pillow biter", or "cum dumpster" would that be o.k? How come when you defend any criticisms, you start by calling names and trying to belittle people that have different views than your own. It's rather ironic that gay people always complain and try to hurt straight people who have different views from them, but want laws made to protect them if a straight person says something that offends them. Typical "Libtard" hypocrisy. If you were really a person who didn't discriminate, you wouldn't label any person. Not gay, straight, African American, Native American, etc.
4
Dan, I second the first letter. Spreadingsantorum.com has made this primary season amusing and nauseating, instead of just the latter. I hope Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have thanked you as well, because they are certainly doing their part to help with project "Google Santorum."
5
If I called you a "faggot", or "pillow biter", or "cum dumpster" would that be o.k? How come when you defend any criticisms, you start by calling names and trying to belittle people that have different views than your own. It's rather ironic that gay people always complain and try to hurt straight people who have different views from them, but want laws made to protect them if a straight person says something that offends them. Typical "Libtard" hypocrisy. If you were really a person who didn't discriminate, you wouldn't label any person. Not gay, straight, African American, Native American, etc.
6
I'm interested in the definition of bullying. Especially, I've been interested in the way some people glommed on to the idea that bullying was any time anyone did something that they didn't like to them personally. So a bunch of cliquish girls saying mean things about each other became bullying. I asked a school counselor about it. She said that the thing that distinguishes real bullying from any name calling is the power differential. 10 kids against one is bullying. One big kid beating up a little kid is bullying. Teachers choosing favorites and ostracizing others is bullying. In other words, it would be thrilling to think of the spreading santorum campaign as bullying. It would mean power has finally gotten where it belongs.
7
You missed day one of history class. Savage wanted to call the column "Hey, Faggot" but the editors nixed the idea. (Though they did allow letters to be addressed that way initially.)

"Sticks and stones..."
8
@3, 5: There's a substantive difference here that you are missing. Being gay, straight, Native, black, whatever--those are states of being, inherent to the person. Beliefs are not, and if they are ridiculous beliefs then they are subject to ridicule.

As to your false statements of fact, well, I'll leave you to figure out what they are.
9
I was eating when I read that last line...
10
My staunchly republican husband (small r, I'm slowly getting the repub stick out of his ass) giggles everytime he hears the word santorum (small s, because that fuckwad doesn't deserve capitalization). Who exactly came up with the whole frothy definition? Wiki says it was the winner in a contest, but that was before I started reading Dan.
11
"rick santorum"

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
12
So, we'll put you down as "undecided", Dan? ;-)

Seriously though, I was interested to see your reaction, and you did not disappoint. Well done!
13
@3 and 5: Tone argument. You lose.
14
Beautiful column. Vote away the scum! Obama 2012.
15
The new/ old definition of "Rick Santorum" has completely blown my mind..I'm giggling like a 12 year old boy before puberty. Well said Dan. Nothing justifies hate that drives 13 year old children to commit suicide. Also, no one is justified in a belief that teaches 13 year old children to deal out that kind of hate and cruelty.
16
Fuck haters - I heart Dan Savage.

Johnny D.
17
I would say that Santorum sucks santorum, but that's probably a legitimate fetish, and he doesn't deserve to be associated with the word "legitimate".
18
I would really, really like to hear from these alleged "gay friends" who support Mr. Frothy Mixture. Srsly, I want to understand what would make anybody queer even think about supporting him. Unless, of course, they don't exist.......
19
@3, 5 - are you actually complaining about name-calling while employing a form of 'tard' in your argument? EPIC FAIL. Also, go back to compassion school and see if you can discover why you flunked out. Bigotry ≠ 'views', you douchecanoe.

Column made of win (not a given) Dan. Well done.
20
Santorum is still railing against contraception and all the other stupid shit he opposes. I wish I could tell him that if he took my IUD while I was sleeping, I'd probably (1) Have a lot more anal sex with my husband and (2) Bang a lot more lesbians in order to avoid becoming pregnant. Santorum backfires. A pun in and of itself.
21
I've read the articles about Santorum's 2003 speech a few times now, and while it does contain repulsive anti-gay and other extreme views, didn't he literally say "it's NOT like man-on-dog," etc. (caps mine)?

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that son of a gun and his mind-bogglingly extreme views has been made into a joke that damages his chances of gaining a position that will give him a chance to act on them, but "not" is a pretty relevant word.
22
I think Dan Savage is a great human being. Long may he reign.
23
DRF: I was confused about that too at first. But upon a second reading, it became clear to me that he was saying "[the definition of marriage] is not, you know, man-on-child, man-on-dog". So he was likening gay marriage to man/child or man/dog by basically meaning "if marriage isn't man-on-child or man-on-dog, why should it be man-on-man?"
24
@20:

You know when homophobic politicians come out as flaming faggots?

Rick Santorum has a different problem. He hates sex. Probably because he *wants* to have all the fun the rest of us are having with our filthy, depraved sex lives, like oral and anal and lesbian sex, but his mind was so fucked up by his religion that he believes that the only way to make his desires go away is by making sure *other* people can't have them. Just like the closet cases who become homophobic senators trying to outlaw the gay. Which is why if elected President, he will legislate against oral and anal and lesbian sex, and empower the police to peek through your bedroom window to make sure you're not having any of it. Because he also thinks you have no right to *privacy*.

So while you think Santorum backfires, you just fail to understand the *scope* of the problem he will become for you. Sorry, he's *also* coming for your condoms and your IUDs and your alternatives to vaginal sex which also include gay nightclubs.
25
@ 21: No. He says marriage is not like man-on-dog, just like it's not like homosexuality:

In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing. And when you destroy that you have a dramatic impact on the quality —


The "it" is marriage, not homosexuality. He's quite clear that he's not "picking on homosexuality", he could just as easily have used bestiality as an example, it would be the same thing. According to him.
26
@6 Crinoline: Interesting points.
@7: Actually, Dan's editor wanted to name the column "My Gay Friend", but cringed on "Hey, Faggot" as the title. Instead, it was agreed that "Hey, Faggot" was okay as a greeting for Dan's column and thus, the title Savage Love was born.
@14 spoon: I second that!!!

Dan--I've got one---now that he's falling fast, and his shit has nowhere else to go, how about Santorum Runoff? Trickle Down Santorum?

Bless you, Dan, fellow readers, and bravo!!
27
@ 24: I think you misjudge 20. She's saying his effort to stop her from using birth control, if successful, would just encourage her to indulge in anal sex and homosexuality. I think she fully understands what a shitstain he is, she's just keeping her tongue in her cheek instead of his ass.
28
How do I change my setting to read Unregistered Comments? I know some of you Tech Savvy folk can help me...

Before Iowa and post Rupert Murdoch starting a Twitter account so he could endorse Santorum, I related the Google Problem story to all my friends and urged them to google Santorum...
29
@28 at the bottom of Dan's response, right above the first comment, there are a few option buttons, asking you to choose if you want to view registered posters, unregistered posters, and whether you want oldest or newest posts first.
30
As of tonight he's a distant fourth, so perhaps he and his Google problem can go the way of all santorum...
31
Ah Ricky!

He's just a treasure trove of dumbassedness. Whether it's marriage leading to dog orgies with 4 or 5 people, or going to college being "elitist snobbery".

Man, I really wish they'd plop me in front of a camera with a question. Because, this whole issue of biblical homosexuality thing is mostly because it's adultery. Along with any sex outside of marriage, and even thinking about having sex with someone you're not married to. (That's a bit more hardcore).

I just want to see him try and answer a question about how he's going to stop heterosexual adultery as President.

32
One of my big problems with His Frothiness is his assertion that we have no inherent right to privacy. If that's the case then what Dan has been saying for a long time - that Sanny, and his right-wing friends, are coming for all birth control and non-procreative or missionary style heterosexual sex. The idea of somebody being able to come into my bedroom and arrest me and my partner just because we aren't "doing it properly" is the very antithesis of what the USA is supposed to embody - freedom and the pursuit of happiness. Oh, yeah, Frothy doesn't believe in the pursuit of happiness either.

I also find his hypocracy to be beyond the pale. He talks about how states should have the right to criminalize contraception, homosexual behavior, and all abortions. (He would criminalize the very procedure that saved his wife's life when she was carrying a non-viable fetus, which is a whole additional level of hypocracy.) Then, in the next breath he will also talk about how the states shouldn't have the right to legalize same-sex marriage, if that is their wish. So which is it, Sanny? If the states have the right to make laws regarding the legality of such things as contraception and abortion, why can't they make laws legalizing same-sex marriage? Or is he only for states' rights if they are legistating in the direction that he believes is "best for our society"?
33
I can understand the argument that civil discourse would be better. Indeed it would. It would be much better if people had civil discussions about who is right and who is wrong, without redefining names and without making factually wrong comparisons between gay sex, bestiality, and pedophilia.

Santorum could try to defend his argument by appealing to the bible and claiming it's the authority he respects. If the bible says these thigns are the same, so will he. Then the argument would be about whether or not you should always follow the bible. And so on and so forth.

And this could in principle be done in a civil manner. But given the emotions that power the various worldviews here, especially in America... It seems pretty damn naive to expect that people will always be civil in their public debates.

That is indeed a pity. But unless those who criticize Dan's vehemence can tell me that they criticize also the vehemence of right-wing people (Glenn Beck? Hannity?), and what they're doing to change that -- I have to say it is similarly hypocritical to condemn things only when they come from the people you already oppose.

Changing the mud-slinging habits of American politics starts at home. If you say to your enemy "you stop first", you're just playing the same game again, no change.
34
I'm in Australia and heard Mr Santorum mentioned on the news the other night. My first thought was "you can't say that word on television !"
35
I'm with 34. I thought, if I'm finally hearing Santorum's name on the Australian news, it's time for another wave of the frothy mix campaign...
36
When a kid getting bullied wins the fight, it doesn't make that kid also a bully. Santorum started a fight with gay people and it ended with ruining his name.
37
Making fun of a politician who has the power to hurt/destroy human lives in order to call attention to his depraved beliefs/policies is not mean. It's called grassroots politics in action. Duh. Maybe more people should have made fun of Adolf Hitler before he took total power.
38
Santorum and his ilk are so horrible that I don't like to waste thought on him. I am interested in exploring where ideas like his come from. I'm interested in why people, now and historically, agree with him. We've talked about love and attraction. We've talked about reasons, evolutionary and other, straight people cheat in marriages. We've talked about genetic and/or societal influence on homosexuality. Yet a tendency towards persecution of homosexuality is something to be condemned, not questioned.

You'd think, on the surface, that if your brother, friend, neighbor, or son said that he wanted to have sex with boys, people would shrug and say whatever. From an evolutionary point, they'd say "more females for me." But instead, going back to Biblical times and in many cultures, there's hatred to the point of hunting people down and killing them. Why? I'm not satisfied with the idea, possibly meant to insult, that it's just an aberration. It's too widespread. You could almost call it natural. Why?
39
Dan, on the issue of Santorum, you are right, your naysayers are wrong.

End of story, the only people that back Santorum are not deserving of the title human.

40
That "Santorum Surges from Behind" headline came from the Philadelphia Daily News, and I can guarantee there was nothing *unintentional* about that hilarity. Those editors put a lot of thought into their clever headlines. There's no way that wasn't on purpose (along with numerous other Santorum headlines that have been coming out lately). Stewart and Colbert may be more overt, but a lot mainstream media types are trying to subtly have a laugh on this one too.
41
I am impressed that Mr Savage managed a double shot at both Mr Woods and Ms Nordegren at the same time. Or was it intended only as a shot against him? As she wasn't an Olive Garden hostess, it's not clear.
42
Well, that explains why most santorum froths at the ass but Rick Santorum froths at the mouth.
43
I just want to say thanks from a longtime straight reader from Pennsylvania. Rick Santorum is a national disgrace, but a particular embarrassment to those of us from PA. Thank you for doing all that you do to show that embarrassment for what it truly is: an idiocy far too ridiculous to be taken seriously. Let's hope NH has spelled the end of this particular episode of political farce.
44
In my opinion, Rick Santorum, like most of the catholic clergy he parrots, is a self-loathing latent homosexual. I just don't feel any threat to my male heterosexuality by gay people marrying or sharing full rights in society. It doesn't make me think after years of being attracted to women, "hey, I think I need to start switching off." And I don't believe that gay men are going to suddenly start being attracted to women by denigration, obnoxious laws, or criminalizing their behavior. But self-loathing gays are terrified, because they need the world to hate gays to resist their own temptation to be who they really are. Rick Santorum tries way too hard to follow the company (conservative catholic) line.
45
Hi Dan, as a Dutch fan of your blog I enjoy every minute of the republican presidential-candidate election covering on our Dutch news channels.
We are aware of the surprising rise of (yuk) Rick Santorum, and many Dutch people start googling him to find out who he is (just like all the other republican candidates). With younger people here, Santorum's (yuk) google problem has been known for some time, now the general public gets a taste of it (unintentional pun); only the fourth hit on google has information on the bigoted politican. The rest refers to (the origins of) the word Santorum as we all love and cherish it. Perhaps you already know this post: http://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comment…

Or better, the comments on this post. I didn't post it, but I sure hope it helped with the google results!

All the best with your Savage Love!
46
Hm...it doesnot show the link properly: here again (it's a post about Santorum having said that "Nobody has ever died because they didn't have healthcare"
.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/o3cc7/santorum_no_one_has_ever_died_because_they_didnt/
47
FWIW, if frothyman gets less than 10% of the vote in NH, then he (and Gingrich and Perry) wasted capital in getting no delegates. Nothing will flush him faster than running out of money :-)

So, if you really want one of his sweater vests, wait till he officially drops out before ordering one (they may discount it then too).

Peace.
48
I love the Joe Newton illustration this week!
49
I was so happy to see that Santorum came in just ahead of Perry at the bottom of the results in my town in New Hampshire. Also of note, this year no one was out holding signs as they always have in other years. I'm hopeful that the enthusiasm gap is the reason.

By the way, I'm pleased that the definition of "rick" is now established. Perhaps then the collateral damage to other people named santorum can be a little less?
50
Aaagh! Say it ain't so! I just googled Santorum to help keep Spreading Santorum at the top, and found it had moved down to fifth place. Dan – please put out the word that we need a massive surge of hits to restore Spreading Santorum to its rightful number-one spot.
51
So, I understand that this isn't a good rhetorical move to use with right-wing hate filled f*ckwads, but why exactly are we supposed to take it as so obvious that legal polygamy is bad that both sides use its badness as the premise of their argument? ("He is so evil he compared gay marriage to polygamy", vs "If you allow gay marriage then what's next, polygamy?")

I honestly don't get it. I have tried, but I literally can't think of a single ethical argument against legal polygamy, though surely there would be pragmatic hurdles, as with anything new.

I do the one at a time thing myself, except for a handful of one-shot threesomes and some standard-fare stints dating more than one person when none were serious. But my neighbors are an all-male very stable threesome and they have one of the healthiest and most supportive relationships in my friend group. My kid hangs out with them a fair amount and came to the conclusion on his own that there is not only nothing ethically wrong with multiple partners, but nothing weird about it in practice either.

Even Savagers who happily participate in threads about polyamory seem to find it obvious that it's insulting to suggest a slippery slope from gay marriage to polygamous marriage. And Dan seems to do the same above, at least by implication. I think I am in favor of such a slippery slope! If someone had argued back in the miscegenation days, "If we allow interracial marriage, what's next, same-sex marriage?" they would have actually turned out to be prophetic, right? What is the difference?

Don't tell the right wing f*ckwads I said so though ;)
52
@38 - My opinion about why people freak and condemn when they think about homosexuality, specifically males, is some visceral fear that they will be overpowered and have unpleasant-to-them sex acts performed upon their bodies. Men know the violent capabilities of their own gender against women, so it follows that male heterosexuals would worry for themselves.

Women don't think that way, because, certainly, you are right, I thought from the first time I understood what a lesbian is: hmm, fine, more men for me. I also thought: gay men, how sad for me! until I realized how fabulous most gay men can be and what a wondrous addition to the population they are.

53
@23 Thanks AK. I was assuming that the "it" in "It's not like man-on-dog" meant "sex between two men" but you're saying that the "it" meant "marriage."
54
After Pounding in New Hampshire, Santorum Slides in Polls.
55
Killer take-no-prisoners column, Dan, and it really, really all needed to be said. Thanks.
56
@54,

Santorum slides in polls, and gets a pounding behind Gingrich in NH (Perry ends up on bottom).
57
Maybe somebody should make up a rude and degrading definition based on the name of Dan Savage's son and promote this on the Internet. Then he would understand his evil and hurting ways.

Anybody who says someone "should be dragged behind a pickup truck until there's nothing left but the rope." should command nobody's respect.
58
I have read that one reason against polygamy is that richer men would hoard women, leaving poor men without. Poor men without women/sex are more prone to violence, etc.

No polygamy = less societal violence.

That's the reasoning I have heard.
59
Naked Chilli: Keep on fappin'!
60
People PLEASE!
Calling out a bully like Rick Santorum is NOT bullying, it is standing up for yourself and all the other people Rick would like to legislate into oblivion.....double bonus points if it's done as mockery because the Rethugs HATE being mocked.

When Rick Santorum or Rick Perry are found dead, tied to a fence post after being beaten to death or beaten up while walking down the street minding their own business, or raped and then denied healthcare by evil gays and women, THEN we'll talk.

61
It's one thing to have consenting--truly consenting--adults involved in polygamous marriages. It is quite anohter, however, how polygamy has been traditionally practiced--as a patriarchal institution that women, and sometimes young girls, are forced into. So, yes, there are ethical reasons against, say polygamy as practiced by Mormons or other religious zealots.
62
WTF does Dan mean by "tiny minority"?? Does he now suddenly believe there are very few LGBTQ folks on the planet? Tiny my ass!

I have never subscribed to the unreasonable theory that we only make up 10% of the population. How can any source, from Kinsey on, be relied on for accuracy when it comes to personal info many gay people are still reluctant to be honest about?
63
People PLEASE!
Calling out a bully like Rick Santorum is NOT bullying, it is standing up for yourself and all the other people Rick would like to legislate into oblivion.....double bonus points if it's done as mockery because the Rethugs HATE being mocked.

When Rick Santorum or Rick Perry are found dead, tied to a fence post after being beaten to death or beaten up while walking down the street minding their own business, or raped and then denied healthcare by evil gays and women, THEN we'll talk.

64
We should work harder on the phrase "rick santorum" because currently googling that phrase doesn't give spreadingsantorum.com for the first result. And it doesn't explain that "rick" is a verb even.

Rick (v) To remove a substance with one's tongue.
"Eww, I'm dribbling everywhere, could you rick this santorum, honey?"

There were so many sites exploiting santorum's name I spent last week on the floor laughing. Examples :

http://gawker.com/5872978/every-funny-he…
http://freethoughtblogs.com/greta/2012/0…
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattcherette/25-…

But my favorite remains "Santorum surges from behind dislodging Romney". Can we keep the obvious meaning for Romney too?
65
Another great and subtle jape on the Columbia Journalism Review's blog article "Santorum Goes After Social Security" (emphasis mine):

But a better idea as the campaign progresses is to ask [His Frothiness] such a question point blank and report his answer. If a slippery candidate doesn’t dot the Is and cross the Ts, the press surely should.


@51, it's because, in their eyes, polygamy means less cunt to go around and some men might end up without a cunt to abuse and control. Note how the guys bringing this up are often so fortunate as to have one secretly despairing woman who can scarcely tolerate them and only stick around because of a misguided sense of duty -- the likely losers when the two-by-two life-pairing nonsense is no longer enforced at gunpoint.

Speaking of nonconsensual enforcement of cultural norms, here's a nice article suggesting that ab-only sex ed encourages bullying, which the culture warriors, being bullies themselves, are just bully about:

http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/article/20…
66
@51 "Even Savagers who happily participate in threads about polyamory seem to find it obvious that it's insulting to suggest a slippery slope from gay marriage to polygamous marriage."

It's not insulting. But poly marriage is a whole different kettle of fish, for precisely the pragmatic reasons to which you refer: SS benefits, health care benefits, child custody issues in case of divorce... If you only imagine a three-way marriage, those issues seem manageable, but suppose A marries B, C, D, and E, where B is also married to F; C is also married to G & H; and wild D is married to P, Q, R, S, T, U, and V. (Also, V hates G with a passion, so they're definitely not married. F and A are sisters, so they're definitely not married...) Okay, now who gets to share A's health benefits? If B dies intestate, how do you divide B's assets? And if B has a kid with D, who gets custody after B dies?
67
@61: Yes obviously. And there are grotesque ethical problems with how one-man one-woman marriage has been implemented, especially in various subcultures. I don't see the difference. Indeed surely it would be easier to prevent such abuses if the 'marriages' weren't subterranean and illegal, where, for instance, women are even more terrified to report abuse than usual because they fear their whole community will be destroyed if they are exposed. Not that I think legalization is ever going to make those subcultures ok - the point is they will make them somewhat better or leave them as they are, not make them worse.

But mostly the implicit form of your argument just seems deeply wrong. there are deeply perverted, abusive relationships and subcultures of all sorts. It is important to know about that and try to help. I see none of that as having any bearing whatsoever on whether there is something intrinsically sketchy about a particular arrangement of partnered-up bodies or whether we should legalize their union. The polygamous partnerships in my social circle have no more relationship to LDC craziness than do any of my other friends' partnerships.
68
"Offer to quote these gay friends anonymously, to protect their privacy/stupidity, but tell the homophobe that you will need to verify the existence of her gay friends because you're a journalist, not a stenographer."

THANK YOU.
69
I look forward to a definitive list of justifications for name-calling and bullying. A lot of the people I disagree with really have it coming.
70
@66 you used the word "intestate". I love you; please marry me. (Note: I am already married to T, who is brothers with L and M. Will that be a problem?)

I have nothing else to say that hasn't been said less simplistically or more elegantly by someone else: it's all being driven by fear and repression.
71
"Offer to quote these gay friends anonymously, to protect their privacy/stupidity, but tell the homophobe that you will need to verify the existence of her gay friends because you're a journalist, not a stenographer."

THANK YOU.
72
Thank you, again, Dan!
73
What amazes me is that if the Republicans could get over their obession with religion (serious, why does that even come into politics) and focused on just their economic/legislative beliefs, they would probably be courting homosexuals. At least those gays who want to get married. Who better to get angry at people popping out welfare babies than couples who have to go through a whole long process to get a child? Come on Republicans. Stop worrying about what some guy in the desert wrote 3,000 years ago.
74
Great definition of santorum--but would be even better with the addition of "ejaculate" or "semen."
75
"Romney Squeezes Out Santorum"! LOVE IT!
76
Great definition of santorum--but how about adding "ejaculate" or "semen" to it.
77
Sorry--didn't mean to add it twice (74 and 76)
78
Kudos Dan, and thank you for taking down one of the many douchebags out there. An America under Santorum would be unimaginable. I am not an American, I am Canadian and we have our own brand of "Santora" (plural for Santorum). Our legal gay-marriage and even abortion is under attack from our newly elected right-wing(nut) government. I am also an accountant and am proud to call a great number of gay couples both good friends and clients.

What I have witnessed over my 30plus years of practice both before and after the recognition of gay marriage can only be aptly described as night and day. No more can a family ravage with total impunity the possessions of a surviving partner, no more can a child be taken from a surviving parent by the family of the deceased. No more will one person in a family be granted extended health care, while another will not. No more will a surviving spouse be left destitute because the pension plan did not recognise their marriage.

No more will a same-sex couple have to execute agreement after agreement in order to protect themselves and their children from multiple civil intrusions because their union was not recognised.

One last point: I prepare income taxes for both Canada and the US. Here in Canada, one spouse can stay at home and raise the children. The couple receive a significant income tax deduction for this arrangement. This is not the case in the US. The 1040 will not recognise same sex family units -for that matter, common law relationships are not granted the same priviledges under law as married relationships. Common law has been recognised throughout the British commonwealth for many decades.
79
Mr. Savage:

This is an excellent and moving article. I've seen you quite a few times on various TV venues, but this is my first time seeing your writings. I was so moved by the hardship of the Langbehn-Pond family that I cried. Generally, due to my cynicism, it's difficult for writers to touch my heart so deeply. I hope that somehow Elizabeth Santorum had the opportunity to read this, too.
80
The biggest problem with santorum is that, now that the namesake former senator is back in the news, I keep flashing to his busted face every time after I have anal sex. That is the horrible unintended consequence of this otherwise excellent definition.
81
What I don't get is how *anyone* can be that repressed, that stupid, that misguided, that pigheaded, that falsely-confident...

I TOTALLY Believe that Rick Santorum is gay and he hates himself for it (Lord knows why).

Redirecting his self-hate into trying to "save the world" by becoming a politician..

Seriously: WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG SANTORUM IS!

It's all so *sad*. Some will never know and never get it.. Santorum is among those people.

Who cares who's gay and who's not anymore?

Fuck, it's 2012 already: there's gay marriage now in several states, a lame show like 'Glee' is more of a hit than it should be, and fuckers like Rick Santorum are comparing being gay to something evil?

Look in the mirror, you dickhead! Eh, not to worry: Santorum's run will be done within a month/two months' tops.

The more bits people drag out about Santorum, the quicker his shit will tumble and he can hopefully return to semi-obscurity where he belongs (There, in therapy and in a bathhouse. Not necessarily in that order ;-) lol...).
82
@38- It's the 'ick' factor and nothing more. Folks hear 'gay'='buttsex'='santorum'. Hence, less revulsion thinking of lesbian sex.
I counter with- "think about your parents or children having sex". Funny to watch their expression change when thinking of an icky form of 'godly' straight sex.
83
EricaP @66.

I agree, it is complicated. And honestly I am not some big crusader for it. But I think the tone on both sides is a moralizing one, not just a matter of getting a headache contemplating the policy complexities. I'm happy for people to decide that multiple marriage is just too complicated to deal with in the short or medium run. I'm not happy for same-sex couples to martial the rhetoric of "we are basically normal, not like those poly freaks, how dare you compare us". Notice @51's immediate rush to talking about creepy LDS misogynist cult stuff when I brought the topic up.

My personal stance on all this is probably closest to that of the great Jimmy McMillan of the Rent is Too Damn High Party: "If you want to marry a shoe, I'll marry you". But I will leave my case for inanimate object unions to another time ;)
84
I'm happy to report that I'd never heard of the man before I'd heard of the word. It has been, and always will be, Dan's definition I think of first when I hear that word.

Also, what's so bad about polygamy? As long as its between consenting adults why should we care?
85
@83, I think there's a good case to be made for ending civil marriage all together. (Religious people could obviously still have whatever ceremonies they want, as could people marrying their shoes :-)

People would have to figure out other ways to indicate legally where want their stuff to go when they die, who they want to raise children with, who they want making decisions if they get ill, etc. But it's totally doable, and might get around the problems I raised @66. Like you said, "in the short or medium run," we're probably not ready yet. But long term, maybe.
86
Rick Santorum is obviously a deranged individuals. I mean, seriously, who in their right mind thinks about dog orgies? I don't think I spent even one minute thinking about it until I wrote this post. I've got three dogs at home, two of them humpers, and still have never thought of them as anything more than friends.
87
Hey Dan,
Why did I have to go online to read this today instead of finding you in the SFWeekly as usual? Where you aware of this? I hope this is dome sort of deadline problem and nit editorial fuckwittage on the part of what I thought were the slightly less conservative owners of what was formerly a very conservatively owned free weekly in a big market that ran your column regularly with no problems.

Cheers,
DeBoner
88
@83(philgirl, & EricaP), I tend to agree with you (philgrl) on polygamy: there is no reason to consider it "freaky" when compared to same-sex marriage, and activists who do so are either trying to play on the 'we're normal like you, look we even are disgusted by the same things' key, or then are actually (unfairly) disgusted by polygamy, most probably without having thought it through.

As EricaP points out, most of the problems with polygamy are practical ones for which some practical solution can be found, if one is willing to think carefully about it.

Running the risk of seeming too radical even for SLOG, I would even maintain that, in principle, the same can be said even for bestiality or sex with children (and the corresponding types of marriage). The task would be more complicated yet, and the redefinitions more radical (and there would be the question of asking who would benefit from it: if too few people, is it worth the trouble?), but I think it probably is doable. But that's of course a different question.
89
@83(philgirl, & also EricaP@85), I entirely agree with you (philgirl): there is indeed no reason why anyone should need to imply that polygamy is "obviously more freaky" than same-sex marriage; logically speaking, it is not, and yet people do, since many comparisons and judgments, both by pro and con debaters, are not justified with practical considerations like EricaP's, but with appeals to 'what is obvious.' On the part of same-sex advocates, I think this is part of the desire to play the 'we're not that different from you' card ('look, we're even disgusted by the same things, like polygamy').

Hopefully polygamy will indeed be the next topic to be talked about and considered, after same-sex marriage becomes mainstream. The practical difficulties that EricaP mention are considerable, but -- I agree -- probably solvable if one is willing to think enough about them.

Running the risk of sounding too radical even for SLOG, I'll even maintain that the same could be said about the other boogiemen, sex with animals and with children (and perhaps even the corresponding forms of marriage): the difficulties, again much more considerable, could probably also be solved (though here I might think it would be better to abolish marriage altogether rather than trying to solve them). I'd also throw in incestous marriage as an easier case to solve.
90
Damn double posting! Sorry everybody.
91
Ms Erica - Well stated about multiple marriages - it would be like the Plantagenets unlimited, and the Family Division would end up ten times larger than any other portion of the court. Then again, the growth in demand for lawyers and judges might be just what the current economy needs...
92
@38, I've often thought about this question. I think it is the "eeew" factor (i.e., basically social stereotypes and their influences), plus the fear that straights themselves might turn homosexual if homosexuals are allowed to exist (i.e., the old fear of a 'homo-virus' that would inexorably gayify us all). Some analyses I've read suggest that gender roles are so strongly built into us (mostly by society) that a simple lack of sexual interest in people of the same sex ends up reinforced to an actual disgust, repulsion, even horror so that the traditional roles are more strongly kept apart: men like women, women like men, and if we don't keep it this way then the gender boudaries (and with them the whole fabric of society) collapses. I don't like this very much because it sounds conspiratorial, which is usually the wrong way to analyze historical processes, but it does seem to be true that homophobia tends to correlate (with exceptions, of course) with belief in more sharply defined gender roles. The more your ideology claims that these gender roles are very important to society, the more a challenge to them (like homosexuality) would seem to be a dangerous threat.
93
@85 EricaP, I've been reading your comments for quite a while now, and I find this concept absolutely fascinating. I can't wait until society is open-minded enough to explore this idea!
94
@38, plus, looking back on my own (fortunately short) homophobic phase in pre-adolescence, I think there is actually some fear that gay people were all 'perverted' in the evil mustache-twirling villain kind of way. Because gays were presented as 'bad', I thought of them as bad in all senses of the word, including fearing that they would have no respect for what I wanted or didn't want and would simply rape me if ever given the opportunity to do so. Basically what many mainstream people think of kinksters (or 'pervs') in general: that they are so obsessed with their own form of sexuality that they're ready to jump and force other people to submit to their desires if they ever had the chance. (Think of all those claims about 'what would happen in the shower' if gays were allowed to serve openly in the military.)

It took some time, and was at first surprising, to think that someone could be at the same time gay and not obsessed by his gayness, gay and not willing to jump and rape other people. I know, it is not at all logical to think so; but if you started out with this image in your head, it does take some time to get rid of it.
95
@93 Thanks! There will be push back from the traditionalists, of course, so if you want to achieve that society, think about how to support positive change in your own social circle (supporting consensual but untraditional relationships of many kinds)...
96
Mr Ank - As for multiple simultaneous marriage, it's not a question of thought; it's a question of dedication of resources. Satisfying a sufficiently large portion of the group such a change would serve would likely require a planet with no military, if not more.

And it's all well and good for you to make your pronouncements from a civilized country, but over here, wait and see. If I were inclined to gamble, I'd bet on a HUGE rollback, and would likely not rule out government-enforced dissolutions in addition to same-sex couples permanently and irrevocably being barred from marriage. Much more doable. Sorry to sound bitter. I am.

As for your more radical questions, I suppose there could possibly be solutions for at least some of them, but it would likely just be Mary Crawford playing speculation (winning the hand only to find that it didn't repay what she'd given to secure it) on a larger scale.
97
On a separate but related note (about sanctimonious anal effluence creators)

In case you were wondering why RANDALL TERRY is running as a Democratic party presidential candidate:

It is because political ads can't be censored, even during the super bowl. Brilliant in a ass juice kind of way.
98
Ms Erica - Of course the case for ending civil marriage can be made. But, if I were betting, I'd back theocracy first, though perhaps in a post-theocratic period...
99
@51 I see no ethical reason not to allow plural marriage in whatever configuration people want. I do however see some serious logistical problems to it but that is separate from how people pro and anti gay marriage often portray it (meaning if we had plural marriage legal then we would need to completely rework how marriage laws work and that would be a big job). It's definitely something that bugs me, I see it as no less ethical than any marriage between consenting adults.
100
Bravo, Dan! I read stuff like that HuffPo piece and just sputter with rage; you find powerful words to express it.

    Please wait...

    Comments are closed.

    Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.


    Add a comment
    Preview

    By posting this comment, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use.