THURSDAY 4/9
A PLANET O' QUEER
Isn't it lovely to have options? For a damn change? It's something we've been sorely lacking around here lately, if'n you asks me. (And you do... oh, how you do!) Tonight's most compelling event is a whole mess of different events, related by queerness (and therefore relevant to your interests) and smashed together into one glorious evening of twisted gay goodness: Queer Planet! The festivities start at 3 p.m. with a unique event by one of the newest and most promising drag performers, James Majesty (you need to see her Amanda Lepore, for reals)—the "Majesty Makeup Seminar," whence she shall share her formidable dragging skills with queens new and not-as-new alike. (She's going to be focusing on "gore and horror" techniques for queens!) Next up is a queer art walk, with works by a protracted roster of artists, including Kook Teflon and Rebecca Pinecones. The evening wraps up with a soupcon of queer theater, Queer You 2, which boasts a load of names including Tony James and Seattle's only 12-year-old drag queen, RainbowGore Cake! In Arts NW, 1633 17th Ave, 3–10 pm, free, all ages.
SATURDAY 4/11
MADEMOISELLE BANDE DE BACON
Bacon Strip is not dead nor doth she sleep. That was all a terrible lie created by social terrorists (me mostly) to befuddle and confound your pretty gay brainz. She merely blossoms less frequently, yet still with sickening grace. Tonight is the biggest of her blossomings, as it were, the annual Miss Bacon Strip Pageant (or, as they call it, an "un-pageant," but they are just being contrarian), where queens compete for the illustrious title that has been held by such luminaries as Jinkx Monsoon and, um, Jinkx Monsoon. Thrills! Chills! Sometimes spills! (Looking at you, Wendy Ashford...) Guest judges! (Not me.) And this year's motley crew of performers includes Cucci Binaca, Devon Blakk, and Seattle's premier shock-queen, Monikkie Shame! (Emphasis on "shame.") Theatre Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave S, 10 pm, $15 adv/$20 DOS, 21+.
MONDAY 4/13
COLLIDE-O-SCOPE: INSIDE YOUR BODY
This is going to be so gross, let's face it, but knowing the Collide-O-Scope boys, in the very best way possible. Allow them to take you on a journey inside your body with their signature stoner-riffic found footage and curated clips. It's truly an experience to be had nowhere else—for better or worse. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 6:45 pm, $8, 21+. 
