Blogs Sep 19, 2014 at 12:54 pm

Wanna Cuddle with Strangers?

Dan Savage
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Comments

1
Well, no sane adult would stick their dick through a hole in a restroom stall so that a stranger on the other side could do god knows what with it, right?
tiktok on September 19, 2014 at 1:02 PM Report this
2
"No sane adult wants to cuddle with a stranger."

I dunno. You're speaking as someone with a mate and a child and a lot of friends. I've known more than one person who seemed terribly, terribly lonely. If that were me, and maybe past a point, the mere idea of someone, anyone, offering to simply hold me might start to sound pretty good, in theory.
skyweaver on September 19, 2014 at 1:11 PM Report this
3
No. Just no. The idea of cuddling with strangers is not my cup of tea. What if they had BO. Or gave off creepy vibes. Or were using the app to prey on people. Or simply had bad breath? EWWW.

I don't even like cuddling with friends. I need to feel some amount of attraction to my cuddle buddy. Unless it was a child. That is a different thing entirely. Or my cat. I think I'll stick to cuddling my cat.
SeattleKim on September 19, 2014 at 1:21 PM Report this
4
i'd hug a stranger

or at least bro-hug them
Max Solomon on September 19, 2014 at 1:33 PM Report this
5
No thanks.. Asked the internet , what is the campsite rule? Which came up, in a previous post, a few days ago. And there it was- thank you internet .
LavaGirl on September 19, 2014 at 1:35 PM Report this
6
I'd rather cuddle with someone I have gotten to know and trust then fake cuddle using this twee bullshit. So no thanks.
brandon on September 19, 2014 at 1:42 PM Report this
7

Hopefully it uses web services to send consent validation requests to various friends, families, educational institutions and government agencies before the cuddling is approved by the State.
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on September 19, 2014 at 1:43 PM Report this
8
Sounds like a hookup app where it's less awkward if there isn't chemistry that leads to something more. It's like a built-in excuse to "just cuddle". But presumably most people would be using it hoping for more.
G g on September 19, 2014 at 1:57 PM Report this
9
-Dear? I have something to tell you...
-What is it?
-It's a bit...shameful...
-It's ok, I won't judge, I'm here for you baby. <3
-Well... ...I... oh-I-just-don't-know! ...
-No, no, it's ok. Take your time. I love you.
-Ok, well,... it's just that... before I met you last year... I...
-..yes?...
-...I used Cuddlr reguarly (*sob!*)
-!!!
-...Like, at least once a (*SOB!*) wee-eee-eee-eek! Waaah!
-Oh. God. ... No...not again...
<sounds of a suitcase closing, feet walking hurriedly across a wooden floor, a door creaking open and...>
>SLAM!<
-..*snif* ...dammit.
treacle on September 19, 2014 at 2:13 PM Report this
10
@9: Masterful.

And may I be the first to suggest Puddlr: cross pee-streams with someone else. No touching required.
rob! on September 19, 2014 at 2:51 PM Report this
11
What the fuck did a parasitic twin ever do to you? PTphobe!
truck on September 19, 2014 at 3:14 PM Report this
12
So you'd eat some Grindr trick's a$$ as if it were Christmas dinner, but cuddling with a total stranger would be just too...personal? Huh.
Original Andrew on September 19, 2014 at 3:29 PM Report this
13
Waiting for ReachAroundR
Dougsf on September 19, 2014 at 3:32 PM Report this
14
I am pro-cuddling, but I would never use that ap - it will certainly be filled with boundary-crossing creeps. Ick!
Schweighsr on September 19, 2014 at 4:13 PM Report this
15
Oh I dunno. I'd 'cuddle' with a pretty girl for a little while, why the hell not. If it didn't feel nice, I'd stop. I don't think this app contractually obliges you to anything.

You know, though, there are gonna be way more dudes looking than chicks. Just the way it is.
Lance Thrustwell on September 19, 2014 at 5:19 PM Report this
16
@15 maybe those dudes could cuddle each other.
EricaP on September 19, 2014 at 6:32 PM Report this
17
@8 "It's like a built-in excuse to "just cuddle". "

I keep seeing ads for the "It's Just Lunch!" dating service in airline magazines. I have no idea if there are any successful long-term hook-ups, but they must get enough clients to pay for those ads, because they've been there for a long time.

That said, I can imagine doing lunch as an initial meet&greet. I can't imagine starting with "cuddling". Nor stopping with that. But then, I can't imagine asexuals, so maybe 3% of the population is enough of a market.
DAVIDinKENAI on September 19, 2014 at 9:16 PM Report this
18
"I suspect we're being punked/trolled. But just in case: No sane adult wants to cuddle with a stranger. Period. And non-ironically downloading this app to your phone—regardless of whether you ever got around to using it—is something you should have to disclose to a potential new partner before becoming intimate, like an STI, an extreme kink, or a parasitic twin."

GENIUS
Sean Kinney on September 20, 2014 at 1:56 AM Report this
19
To say no sane person would want to cuddle a stranger and should be stigmatized for wanting to do so (should be disclosed like an STI, really?) is absurd if you aren't far more appalled by Craigslist, Grindr, and Tinder. Why is it less weird to want to bone a stranger than just to be cuddled by one? Physical contact can be comforting, and not everyone has ready access to it. I myself am often hug-deprived. I might not personally use an app like this, but no one ever got an actual STI from promiscuous cuddling.
Daniel_NY on September 20, 2014 at 12:11 PM Report this
20
I would so use that app if I didn't know that many people would be trying to get sex. I'd rather cuddle with my friends but most people seem uncomfortable with the idea, and cuddling consenting strangers is better than cuddling non-consenting friends.

Sadly, I expect the app to be riddled with people hoping for sex, so I'll pass on it.
Avistew on September 20, 2014 at 12:52 PM Report this
21
Sleep alone for thirty years, Dan, and then tell me how insane it would be to cuddle with a stranger.
on September 20, 2014 at 3:15 PM Report this
22
http://www.cuddleparty.com/


Cuddle Party is … a Movement!

It’s about compassion, affection and touch.

It’s about touch that is not about sex.

Wait - IS THERE such a thing?

Of course there is! Though not everyone knows it or how to find it.

One problem with finding comforting touch is that if you believe that touch is about sex, then either you are afraid it might lead to sex, or you are afraid it might not lead to sex.

Not so helpful.

We humans need touch and affection. It’s no longer a question. Nurturing, welcome consensual touch is good for you. Good for your body, heart and spirit. Good for your blood pressure, your nervous system, your emotional health, your ability to connect with and trust people, your ability to respect and care for yourself, your creativity, sense of safety and comfort and belonging. Infants who are deprived of touch fail to thrive; we never outgrow the need.

Why is it so hard to find? Because for the most part, we think it has to do with sexual relationship, or at least romance, hooking up or ‘attraction’.

What if it just has do with being a human being who cares about other human beings? Kindness, compassion, comfort and nourishment.

Cuddle Party is a movement to reclaim this option in our lives.
<....>
Cynara on September 20, 2014 at 6:09 PM Report this
23
Oh, we are being trolled, all right.
avast2006 on September 20, 2014 at 7:22 PM Report this
24
Seems a whole lot safer than those Craiglist "hetero-only" jack-off buddy ads.

What's "non-ironic" mean?
stonato on September 20, 2014 at 7:29 PM Report this
25
Meanwhile, in Japan:
https://translate.google.com/translate?s…
zwartepiet on September 21, 2014 at 12:01 AM Report this
26
I'm informed, by sources I have considered reliable, that cuddle parties are held around here (North Bay of SF). They came up regularly on a forum I used to hang out on: I think that it was the Bay Area Rider's Forum (It's for motorcycle people). They have a strong set of rules to make sure that it's clothes on, no making out only holding.
It sounds to me like a fine thing for lonely or poly curious folk who want to try being in a real pile with very little risk.
SifuMark on September 21, 2014 at 8:35 AM Report this
27
@10

YES!!!!!
Doot on September 22, 2014 at 1:31 AM Report this
28
"No sane adult wants to cuddle with a stranger."

Really, Dan ? Cuddling is the new STI ?

It must be a European thing then.

Wait, Daniel_NY doesn't feel it's such big deal...

Americans welcome everyday soon-to-be-ex-strangers (but still strangers) in their home with a warm hug, but doing the same thing on the street, away from your place, makes it suddenly worse than Sodom and Gomorrhea ?

As for the BO whiner : what will you do if someone in your family marries someone with BO ? I'd bet you'll still hug them at family gatherings, right ?

Never heard of World Hugging Day, Dan ?
sissoucat on September 22, 2014 at 3:21 AM Report this
29
Wait a minute, how is my parasitic twin any of my partner's business? She's nothing more than a fetal lump nestled in between my spleen and liver. It's not like she's contagious and I'm exposing my boyfriend to a parasitic twin outbreak! It would only weird him out to learn about her I'm sure. Some things are better to keep private.
Salad on September 22, 2014 at 9:49 AM Report this
30
@26 - A Cuddle Party, organized by individuals with a curated guest list, and clear rules... is far, FAR different than anonymous "cuddle-ups" facilitated through mobe apps. Jus' sayin'. I don't think anyone would be against the former, but the latter just smells like trouble from here.

Let's register these before they get used, and we can make a mint by selling them to the highest biddr!
-The aforementioned Puddlr (brilliant, by the way)
-Kissr
-Smoochr
-Lickr
-Rubbr (verb, not noun)
-Kickr
-Bustr (as in 'ball..')
-Non-Consensually Touchr
-Fondlr
-Blackmailr
-Extortr
-Arrestr
-Bounty Huntr
-Jailr
-Judgr
-Prisonr
treacle on September 22, 2014 at 12:08 PM Report this
31
Beside safety issues, I would argue that the saner you are the more open you would be on the idea of cuddling with a stranger. The surrender of one self to the moment with some one is one of the deepest liberation a person can have. The surrender of the self, or the letting go of the illusion of the self (the ego), is a spiritual journey shared by many, and there is nothing religious about this.
Canadakickass on September 22, 2014 at 2:45 PM Report this

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