Columns Apr 23, 2009 at 4:00 am

Sensation vs. Spectacle


The division between spectacle and sensation (good clear terms!) seems to bring up a division between what you do and whom you do it with (less clearly defined, but I'm new at this). BDSM centers on a particular set of (generally) sex-related activities: what you do. Swinging seems more oriented around varying whom you do it with. The former is focused on the action, and the latter on the extension of action.
Is just me or does Matisse write the unsexiest column ever? Seriously, I'd rather watch my grandparents have sex than read another one of these boring ass entries.ZzZZzzZZzzzZZZzzz
I am just stunned by the comments here sometimes, slamming a skilled (and sexy) writer for no apparent reason. cmnkisrule, above, is an example of that. Matisse consistently provides great insight into her very interesting world, and I for one appreciate it massively. It's the first thing I turn to in The Stranger, frankly.
It's just you. Don't like it? Don't read it.
Or, more specifically, if you're looking for porn -- and it sounds like you are -- don't read it.

Not all writing about sex without writing to titillate. Some of it is about thinking with your other head.
This is like the people who call up sex workers trying to get them to talk sexy for free instead of setting up an appointment for a session.

If you're coming here for titillation and you find this column (or discussions about sex and alternative lifestyles in general) regularly boring, why not hit up literotica instead? Get yourself some actual porn and stop whining about how 'unsexy' this column is. Somehow I doubt that this column is meant to be this paper's bodice-ripping erotic thrillfest, especially when it alternates space with Dear Science.

Only boring people get bored.
One of the things that makes BDSM different from vanilla sex is the amount of focus involved, of you're flogging(or being flogged) you don't have much interest in making contact with onlookers, you're totally involved in what you're doing. The same with most other BDSM practices.

I've had many public BDSM scenes where, after it was over, I looked around to find a dozen or more people standing there - and I had no idea where they came from or when they got there. It was all about my partner and me.
Let me clarify ladies. I'm not slamming the person I'm slamming her writing. I find her column to be grim, humorless, tiresome and therefore terribly unsexy. While I'm quite sure Matisse the person is a total delight, Matisse the writer needs some work.
Flora, you give the best advice which I will be taking you up on.

i couldn't agree more with cmnkisrule. i really want this column to be good. i want great insight into her interesting world.. but instead it's just boring braggadocio slightly dressed up as insight.

(and please don't come to her defense because she's sexy.. defend her writing if you must, because that's what we're discussing.)
The criticisms above seem to be equivalent to complaining about a documentary's dismal lack of special effects.
"The criticisms above seem to be equivalent to complaining about a documentary's dismal lack of special effects."

or tits...

Please wait...

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