Why don't we start a fund so that Constance can host her own prom and invite the rest of her classmates. I'll put $100 in immediately.

"But, hey, there may still be a prom! The school board has invited "private citizens" to host a prom—because a group of private citizens, unlike a public school, can bar McMillen and her girlfriend from prom without risking a lawsuit."

I for one would donate money so that McMillen and her girlfriend can be the hosts of the "private prom." Anyone with me? Anyone who would know how to set such a thing up?

My letter to the superintendent.

To Superintendent McNeece,
How incredibly heartbreaking it was to hear that Constance McMillen was not allowed to bring her girlfriend to her own schools prom, nor were either her or her date allowed to wear a tuxedo to her own prom. But it was downright enraging to hear that rather then let her bring her girlfriend or  wear whatever she pleases to her own prom, you chose to cancel the entire affair. And it was further enraging that the reasons given was she might make other students uncomfortable. Other students, or just you?
 To have a student like Constance, an honor student, a young woman so confident in herself and so happy in her relationship, is a wonderful thing. To not only prevent her from enjoying such a important high school experience, but to also blame her for others lack of opportunity of the same thing is immature, ignorant and morally wrong.
 I sincerely hope there is a private citizens prom thrown. One without bigotry, one where harmful influences such as yourself are not allowed to chaperone or crown the king and queen, or hopefully, the queen and queen, as clearly Constance deserves it. 
Respectfully yours,
Alexandra Burke 

Public Servants of Itawamba County:

You have decided to cancel the 2010 Itawamba Agricultural High School prom based on your personal bigotry against a student. You are public servants and your personal bigotry may not infect your role as such. What you have done is not only apalling and illegal, it is completely UN-AMERICAN. This is the 21st century in the USA where all humans have equal and inalienable rights. Your personal opinions are nowhere in this equation. You must apologize and reverse your decision immediately, if not because you fail to see the err in your ways, (you should), then because of the very ugly portrait of yourselves you are painting to the rest of America. I suggest you consult the Gospels for some better guidance in your future decisions.

@94 http://www.examiner.com/x-17183-Birmingh…

Am trying to send to them, but both their and your boxes seem to be over quota. Anyone else having that problem?

blueelephant3 - I'd be happy to donate something to the cause. how does one set that sort of thing up?

I don't like the idea of a private prom... not in that town. Think about it.. The school board members are all elected officials, right? So the town is made up of a bunch of bigots.

The school board suggesting private parties are a good idea is like saying, "We don't want to be responsible for directly being bigots, but I'm sure there's some parents out there that don't mind doing our dirty work for us."

I'm not sure why anyone of authority would support this decision. Yet alone, a principal, superintendent and the whole school board. The obviously think that they are doing the right thing, but it certainly isn't in *anyones* best interest.

As the saying goes, "If you aren't completely appalled, then you haven't been paying attention"

I love the alternate prom idea. Anyone contacted a party planner in the area? I bet one could get some big name entertainment, cheap. "Yeah, we could go to the Upright Citzens' Prom and have punch and crepe paper decorations, or we could go across the street to the Everyone is Welcome Prom and see [whomever the kids dance to these days]!"

Yes, it's surely a big problem for women to be putting on traditionally male clothing. I certainly hope none of the women on the school board own any jeans or pants suits.

I'd be interested in hearing what the other kids have to say. Hopefully, they're disgusted with their redneck elders.

I hope the following gets through (I've gotten bounces from a few e-mail addresses):

Dear Superintendent McNeece, Principal Wiygul, and Itawamba School Board:

I read of the cancellation of the prom at Itawamba Agricultural High School in USA Today. I would like to express my displeasure to all of you, and to strongly encourage you to reverse this mean-spirited, shortsighted, bigoted, and hateful decision.

Having grown up in the south I have witnessed discrimination and hate towards the gay and lesbian population first hand, and have seen the effects of such bigotry on a close friends. However, the cancelation of prom because a lesbian student wanted to attend with her girlfriend is particularly egregious. Not only does it send the message to Ms. McMillen that she is not welcome at your school, it also sends a message to any other gay and lesbian students in your school district that they are not welcome, and may further harm the ability of such students to gain a sense of self-acceptance, which given the environment in the south, must be difficult already. Additionally, the fact that the board has encouraged the community to organize a private prom further points to the fact that prom was not cancelled out of concern for any disruption, but was rather cancelled out of spite, bigotry and hatred for Ms. McMillen and any other homosexual students. This further reenforces the message that your school board is sending that gays and lesbians are not welcome in your school or community, and that they are viewed by you and the community as second class citizens.

I'm glad that Ms. McMillen had the courage to go public with the outrageous way in which she was treated by your school board. I'm sure that in speaking out about your discrimination Ms. McMillen has created a far larger disruption to your school, and your community than would have otherwise occurred had you simply allowed Ms. McMillen to do what you allow everyone else in school to do, that is take their significant other on a date to prom.

We live in a society that's becoming more and more tolerant, and this tolerance extends to the gay and lesbian community. I hope you realize that you are not only on the losing side of this battle, but you are on the morally indefensible side. A book of superstitions that is thousands of years old does not reflect morality and what is permissible in an open, tolerant, and pluralistic society.

I sincerely hope that you reconsider your decision, or that if you don't the ACLU's suit forces you to do the right thing.

I sent an e-mail and then blogged about it:

http://bibliofreakblog.com/in-the-real-w…

I sent Dan Savage an email to see if he might be interested in helping put together a prom fund. I don't think that I myself have the connections to put it together, and realistically I wouldn't expect anyone to send money to a stranger on the internet.

@113: You knocked that one right out of the park. Calling All State when I get a spare moment.

Oh, and before anyone screams "see, the gays take your jobs if you disagree with them!!", remember that the School District canceled the prom and blamed this girl for it. I don't know about you guys, but setting a kid up to take the fall because of animus is pretty heinous.

A funny thought just occurred to me, two minutes after seeing the lawsuit was a go in Federal court.

What if this case does set the legal precedent in Federal court that you can't discriminate over whether someone is straight or not?

All over a high school dance, which has (as of today) only a long shot chance... but a chance, nonetheless, of changing the entire legal course of a country.

Maybe I'm just being too hopeful. Make for a hell of a teen movie.

i'm thinking that some high profiled out gays ..ellen, rosie o'... etc. might also be game for getting the alterna prom..
but yeah i'd love to scratch up some nickels to send their way.

My letter to the Superintendant,

Dear Ms. McNeece,

I find your actions ill advised, as well as personally distasteful. You have placed a young woman in an untenable position, as being responsible for the cancellation of prom, a major event for high school students. She is now the scapegoat, and you know nothing good happens to the scapegoat, especially in high school. You have also shown yourself to be a bigot by not allowing her to attend prom in the first place.

My daughter and her then girlfriend attended Homecoming at their Monroe, Louisiana high school together. Her girlfriend wore a suit, my daughter a lovely formal gown. They were a charming couple.

And guess what, Ms. McNeece, the world did not end, the dance went on as usual. Pictures were taken. They danced, drank punch, and had fun with their classmates. No one complained. No one felt uncomfortable.

My daughter and her girlfriend are no longer together, but her girlfriend continues to be like a daughter to me. My daughter considers herself bisexual and is now married to a man. But that was her decision, just as it was her decision to attend Homecoming.

Wake up and smell the 21st Century, Ms. McNeece. Relationships should be about love, caring, and attraction, not about the established social order.

Most sincerely and truthfully,

Lisa Teague

My email:

Dear superintendant, principal, & school board members:

Prom is considered by most students to be a rite of passage. In this day and age, the 21st century, why is it acceptable to you (regardless of YOUR beliefs) to disallow a lesbian from attending with the date of her choice?

You can't very well cite religious beliefs (that homosexuality is a sin, or, to use the word from the worn out passage of Leviticus, an abomination to the Lord), because yours is a public school, receiving federal funding, which means you can't discriminate for religious reasons.

And really, religion and morality (based ON religion) are the only reasons to discriminate against gays and lesbians (by the way, what happened to love and tolerance?). They're no different from you or me. They laugh, love, hope, hurt, dance, and even pray. They bleed red when cut, they cry when they're hurt. Same as I do. Same as you.

One of your students wanted to attend this rite of passage, with a person of her choosing (same as all of your straight students), and now, because of the actions of your district, will be the target of other students' displeasure, and likely excoriated.

I will say one thing: Congratulations. You've certainly made your school's 2010 prom something that will never be forgotten!

Here's my letter:

Dear Superintendent Teresa McNeece & Principal Trae Wiygul,

Your actions against 18 year-old Constance McMillen are unbelievable. How can you possibly think that cancelling the entire prom because you think that a lesbian couple would be "distracting" would be the best course of action? It is no wonder that your school is ranked 115th out of 251 MISSISSIPPI schools, where Mississippi ranks to be 45 out of 47 counted. http://www.usnews.com/articles/education… Please try to catch up with the rest of the country. Not only in learning to accept others and NOT discriminate, but also to perform better in education. How is this a useful expenditure of your time? Instead of spending time and resources spreading hate, try finding solutions to better education in your state. You are a lousy excuse for a school district and a shining example of why Mississippi continues to sink further down in the rankings of education. How about valuing freedom and equality, American principles that seem to have escaped you? How about teaching kids acceptance rather than discrimination? What an example you set. Have you never heard of the golden rule, treat others the way you want to be treated?

Here is what Ms. McMillen has to say:
All I wanted was the same chance to enjoy my prom night like any other student. But my school would rather hurt all the students than treat everyone fairly,” said McMillen, an 18-year-old senior at Itawamba Agricultural High School in Fulton, Mississippi. “This isn’t just about me and my rights anymore — now I’m fighting for the right of all the students at my school to have our prom.”

Listen to your students, grow out of this hate, start understanding the world as it is, not as you assume it should be. The real world has gay people in it, lots of gay people who are doing good things for this country and good things for the world.

Sincerely,
Megan Simpson

I spent 7 months of fun in southern mississippi in 91 while in the air force (keesler afb), and the locals down there were bigoted against color, and military, since you don't get much whiter then me (and male). We had to be back at certain times or say where we were going with phone numbers if staying out overnight.

I know this was an issue when I was in high school in the late 80's, and it was brought up from time to time, but prom was never canceled over it.

They are discovering the power of the internet, and just how fast information travels in this day and age. You can't do something that stupid, and get away with it anymore.

Since this is a public school, it falls under local, state, and federal laws. Also if anything happens to her, the school is going to be the first one sued, and they will be sued hard. There is going to be millions that will have to be payed out, but only as long as the case gets out of the local courts.

My letter to the principal and superintendant:

Dear Superintendent McNeece and Principal Wiygul,

I have a question about the American History offerings in the Itawamba County School System:

Do you teach the students about Jim Crow Laws, and tell them that many states—including Mississippi—used to forbid blacks equal access to public accommodation? If so, do you tell the students that Mississippi was in the error and stood on the wrong side of history?

Do you teach them about Loving v. Virginia and tell them that many states—including Mississippi—used to forbid men and women who loved each other the right to get married? If so, do you tell the students that Mississippi was in error and stood on the wrong side of history?

Do you teach them about the female suffrage and tell them that many states—including Mississippi—used to forbid women the right to vote? If so, do you tell them that Mississippi was in error and stood on the wrong side of history?

And more to the point, in twenty years, what are you going to tell them about a county in Mississippi that ruined a high school tradition for an entire student body, because Mississippi was once again, determined to stand on the wrong side of history?

Do yourselves, your state, and, most importantly, your students a favor: back down from your decision to cancel the prom. Let all the students go with the dates of their choice. Any disturbance Constance McMillen causes will pale in comparison to the disturbance you and your school board members have already caused by a decision that can only be characterized as backwards, hateful and wrong-headed.

The nation is watching, and the nation has a long memory, as History proves.

Sincerely,

Clayton Delery
Natchitoches, Louisiana

This is what I wrote:

My name is Mallory Baim. I am twenty four years old. I am bisexual.

In 2003 I asked my girlfriend to go to our high school's prom with me. She said "no," because she didn't want to tell her parents that she was a lesbian. So - a male friend came to prom as my date, and another male friend went to prom as her date. It sometimes still hurts to think about it. That in Scarsdale, New York in 2003 a girl could be scared to attend a high school prom with the person she is in love with, because of how it might affect other people. That was seven years ago. Until today, I truly believed that things were changing. I am sad to find out that I was wrong.

I am proud of Constance McMillen for being brave enough to attend prom with her girlfriend.
I am ashamed that a school would go as far as to cancel the entire prom just to make sure that this wouldn't happen.

I was raised to believe that I should be proud of who I am, no matter what that was. I was raised to believe that I should never hide myself in order to satisfy other people. I was raised to believe that everyone is equal. I was raised to believe that anyone (or any institution) who told me I couldn't be who I am; was wrong. I was raised to believe that I didn't need these people in my life.

Unfortunately, when it comes to high school, you can't exactly choose where you go. But you can, at the very least, expect the high school you attend to nurture you and help you grow. In canceling its prom, because a young woman wants the world to know who she is, Itawamba Agricultural High School is doing the exact opposite. K-12 schooling is supposed to be about giving children the tools they need to grow up and become a successful human being. Scarsdale High School taught me that no matter how many times I failed, there would always be someone there for me, saying "I believe in you." Everybody, absolutely everybody, deserves the chance to be believed in. I am so grateful that the tools I learned in high school didn't involve learning that I could be punished, that I could get a large group of people punished, simply for being who I am.

That is not the kind of lesson that should be taught in any high school. A lot of children are unsure and potentially afraid to stand up for themselves. Anyone who is able to say to the world "Hello! This is who I am!" should be revered, not punished. That is what I've learned in this world and that is what I want my children to learn.

Children have brought guns to school, shot, and killed other students because people made fun of them. Because they felt like they didn't fit in. To feel that way because of your peers is one thing. To have the school, the institution itself, flat out tell you that you don't fit in, and take an action that insures the students will feel the same way... I can't imagine how that would feel. It should be the institution's responsibility to make sure that students never feel that way, not to actively make that happen. Constance McMillen may be strong enough to not feel that way. But that doesn't mean that any other student in a similar situation would be that strong. Studies have shows that gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth are more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual youth because they are discriminated against in a way that heterosexual youth wouldn't be able to understand. Is that really something you want to risk? Is that a message you really want to send? In taking such a harsh action, you are setting a precedent. Other schools will see this happening, and they will believe that it is okay for them to take such an action. Gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth have enough being thrown at them, just for being who they are, because ignorant people believe that homosexuality is an aberration. Being told this by an institution is just adding fuel to the fire. No human being has a right to judge another in this way. Passing this kind of judgment is not the reason schools exist. Passing this kind of judgment is not a humane way to treat anyone. Passing this kind of judgment will only propel the bigotry that already exists in this world. Who knows what will happen with the next child who is judged this way. We already went through this with jews, people of color, and almost every minority that exists in a given place. Do we really need to go through it all again in order to remember what happens? I really hope we don't.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I hope you re-assess your decision in order to allow every child to live their own life and be true to themself.

Sincerely,
Mallory Baim

This is what I wrote:

My name is Mallory Baim. I am twenty four years old. I am bisexual.

In 2003 I asked my girlfriend to go to our high school's prom with me. She said "no," because she didn't want to tell her parents that she was a lesbian. So - a male friend came to prom as my date, and another male friend went to prom as her date. It sometimes still hurts to think about it. That in Scarsdale, New York in 2003 a girl could be scared to attend a high school prom with the person she is in love with, because of how it might affect other people. That was seven years ago. Until today, I truly believed that things were changing. I am sad to find out that I was wrong.

I am proud of Constance McMillen for being brave enough to attend prom with her girlfriend.
I am ashamed that a school would go as far as to cancel the entire prom just to make sure that this wouldn't happen.

I was raised to believe that I should be proud of who I am, no matter what that was. I was raised to believe that I should never hide myself in order to satisfy other people. I was raised to believe that everyone is equal. I was raised to believe that anyone (or any institution) who told me I couldn't be who I am; was wrong. I was raised to believe that I didn't need these people in my life.

Unfortunately, when it comes to high school, you can't exactly choose where you go. But you can, at the very least, expect the high school you attend to nurture you and help you grow. In canceling its prom, because a young woman wants the world to know who she is, Itawamba Agricultural High School is doing the exact opposite. K-12 schooling is supposed to be about giving children the tools they need to grow up and become a successful human being. Scarsdale High School taught me that no matter how many times I failed, there would always be someone there for me, saying "I believe in you." Everybody, absolutely everybody, deserves the chance to be believed in. I am so grateful that the tools I learned in high school didn't involve learning that I could be punished, that I could get a large group of people punished, simply for being who I am.

That is not the kind of lesson that should be taught in any high school. A lot of children are unsure and potentially afraid to stand up for themselves. Anyone who is able to say to the world "Hello! This is who I am!" should be revered, not punished. That is what I've learned in this world and that is what I want my children to learn.

Children have brought guns to school, shot, and killed other students because people made fun of them. Because they felt like they didn't fit in. To feel that way because of your peers is one thing. To have the school, the institution itself, flat out tell you that you don't fit in, and take an action that insures the students will feel the same way... I can't imagine how that would feel. It should be the institution's responsibility to make sure that students never feel that way, not to actively make that happen. Constance McMillen may be strong enough to not feel that way. But that doesn't mean that any other student in a similar situation would be that strong. Studies have shows that gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth are more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual youth because they are discriminated against in a way that heterosexual youth wouldn't be able to understand. Is that really something you want to risk? Is that a message you really want to send? In taking such a harsh action, you are setting a precedent. Other schools will see this happening, and they will believe that it is okay for them to take such an action. Gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth have enough being thrown at them, just for being who they are, because ignorant people believe that homosexuality is an aberration. Being told this by an institution is just adding fuel to the fire. No human being has a right to judge another in this way. Passing this kind of judgment is not the reason schools exist. Passing this kind of judgment is not a humane way to treat anyone. Passing this kind of judgment will only propel the bigotry that already exists in this world. Who knows what will happen with the next child who is judged this way. We already went through this with jews, people of color, and almost every minority that exists in a given place. Do we really need to go through it all again in order to remember what happens? I really hope we don't.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I hope you re-assess your decision in order to allow every child to live their own life and be true to themself.

Sincerely,
Mallory Baim

This is a copy of the e-mail I sent all of them. I kept to the high road.

Dear Ladies & Gentlemen of the Itawamba County School District,

Please reverse your decision to cancel the prom. A reversal of your decision would teach tolerance, character, and that it's never to late to change ones mind and admit one has made a mistake to the kids in your county.

It will also save your county a great deal of money spent on a law suit that could likely go all the way to the Supreme Court. Money, I am sure, that would be better spent on the academic needs of your students.

It's not too late to make this right.

Concerned citizen & mother in Albuquerque, NM,

Only a082315@allstate.com bounced back to my e-mail.

Non-working e-mails: jnichols@itawamba.k12.ms.us, hmartin@itawamba.k12.ms.us, a082315@allstate.com

Three of those school emails did not work.

I haven't drafted my letter yet, but I plan on focusing on one point that has been sticking in my head that I haven't heard much about: The Tux. I am curious to know what issues there would have been had this been a male choosing to express his Scottish heritage by arriving to prom dressed in Highland Formal (as Eric Schulzentenberg of Alexandria, MN, chose to do in 2005 and was banned from the prom parade as a result). I am also curious as to the school boards reaction if Constance McMillen had chosen to celebrate her (assumed on my part) Scottish heritage and wore Highland Formal in the Clan MacMillan tartan to the IAHS prom. Does not address the greater issue at hand, but the question may open the door to more answers on other questions.

School Board Members, Itawamba County School District, Fulton, MS

It is with great dismay and even greater distaste that I find myself compelled to write to you about the cancellation of Prom for the seniors at Itawamba Agricultural High School. The following definitions come from well known internet references:

“Education is the process by which society deliberately transmits its accumulated knowledge, skill and values from one generation to another.”

Knowledge - acquaintance with facts, truths, or principles

Skill - something that requires training and experience to do well

Values - relative worth, merit, or importance

What knowledge, skill and value are the students of the Itawamba County School District supposed to be learning from your actions?

As educators I call you failures.

As elected board members I call you frauds.

If I were in your voting district I would call for your resignation.

To Whom It May Concern:

You are furthering the stereotype of what the rest of the country thinks about the South. It is time you venture beyond your borders and state lines and move beyond your small ways of thinking. Lesbian, gay, black, white - think human beings, all with feelings, emotions, dreams, hopes, goals, and something valuable to offer this country. You have disgraced yourselves and the forward progress of this nation. Do you not follow national news?

~Tim
Seattle, WA

To Whom It May Concern:

You are furthering the stereotype of what the rest of the country thinks about the South. It is time you venture beyond your borders and state lines and move beyond your small ways of thinking. Lesbian, gay, black, white - think human beings, all with feelings, emotions, dreams, hopes, goals, and something valuable to offer this country. You have disgraced yourselves and the forward progress of this nation. Do you not follow national news?

~Tim
Seattle, WA

To Whom It May Concern:

You are furthering the stereotype of what the rest of the country thinks about the South. It is time you venture beyond your borders and state lines and move beyond your small ways of thinking. Lesbian, gay, black, white - think human beings, all with feelings, emotions, dreams, hopes, goals, and something valuable to offer this country. You have disgraced yourselves and the forward progress of this nation. Do you not follow national news?

~Tim
Seattle, WA

unregistered @138, who cares? A lot of 12-year olds think they are straight but turn out to be gay. This particular 12-year-old thought she was gay but is now straight/in a hetero relationship. Doesn't sound like she regrets her involvement in the GSA or has major unresolved identity issues. I don't know what you are trying to prove.

When I shared this on my FB page the headline reads "... female date - and pot" which would actually make sense but I doubt a prom would get canceled over a little pot.

so, this guy eddie hood is an all state agent - http://www.allstateagencies.com/042151/W… - and a member of the school board - http://www.itawambacountyschools.com/boa…
- right? notice how he used his allstate email as a contact. call the allstate complaint line at 847-402-5448 and ask them if they do indeed sanction this sort of discrimination, as it seems they do by allowing him to use their email server for non-business related heinous acts.

Here's my e-mail to all of the above:

Dear Superintendent McNeece, Principal Wiygul, and School Board Members-

I recently returned from over a year in Iraq, embedded with our military, and am now preparing for another overseas assignment to protect our nation.

I am frankly surprised to learn that the Itawamba County School Board has cancelled the Itawamba Agricultural High School prom because Constance McMillen wants to bring a female date. I myself don't always understand this younger generation, but I do know that times change and this is not a big deal.

I also think Ms. McMillen is a much better role model for your students than heterosexual Bristol Palin of Wasilla, Alaska.

I strongly urge you to reconsider your decision. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Karl Olson

The letter I sent:

I am writing to thank you for canceling prom and putting student Constance McMillen in danger of retribution from the rest of the student body. Now we will have the opportunity to deal openly with whether as a nation we believe it is acceptable to exclude or discriminate against individuals because of their sexuality. You have provided us a valuable opportunity to decide as a nation what acceptable behavior around gender is, to create legislation and and legal precedent based on the outcome of the court decisions in this instance.

Congratulations,

-Amelia

to Supt McNeese

Reading about this situation, I wanted to express my extreme disappointment that your School Board / State will allow this sanctioned discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation in Itawamba County.

While I am sure you and others in similar positions are getting a lot of heat, I'm not writing to beat you up, but to ask that you and your colleagues re-examine the situation.

It is frightening that the next step from here could be barring LGBTQI students from participating in sports--or maybe preventing these students from attending school at all? How can this be okay??

Constance McMillen simply wants to wear clothing of her own choosing that is not obscene and attend with the person of her own choosing as well. This will not do harm to any other person, student, teacher, the school, the district, the county, city or state.

Is it more important to impose one's own beliefs upon students or is it more important to protect these students who need it? Lesbians and other marginalized groups are at your mercy and depend on administrators to stop discrimination, not perpetuate it! These students MUST be able to count on someone standing up for them. It is easy to do the popular thing, but more important to do the RIGHT thing.

I ask that you intervene on behalf of your students that need you to stand up for them. This is not just about a prom, it is about how we value Constance and other minority students. Please reinstate the prom and open it to ALL students, regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity, with no restriction on gender of dates or gender specific clothing.

Thank you for reading & I hope you will reply personally.

Sincerely,

Citizen Roe
aka Liz Price

Here's one way to reach a board member:

www.allstate.com

Eddie Hood Insurance
2305 West Main Street
Tupelo, MS 38801-3106
(662) 840-1312

@122: No need. Fricke v. Lynch.

Clara Brown at http://network-one.com/, the telphone number to call is 601-969-0333

Nexband Communications
817 South Congress Street
Jackson, Mississippi 39201
Tel: (601) 353-2001
(877) 500-4853
Fax: (601) 353-1924
Support: 888-260-4357

This is my letter:

Teresa McNeece,

I am taking time out of my busy day as a mother of three and homemaker in Seattle, WA in order to let you know of my outrage over the way you and your school board have chosen to treat your student, Constance McMillen. People with as little human decency and compassion as you and your board have shown, have no business being in the business of educating school children. The actions you have taken in canceling the prom in order to further vilify Ms. McMillen with her classmates is simply disgusting behavior which should not be tolerated ~ not in small town America and not anywhere else. You all have shown yourselves to be hateful bigots and you should know that now that this story has been publicized, an entire nation of people who do not believe in your small minded, cruel ways have seen inside your souls and know what you are. For shame.

I sent it to the superintendent with CCs to all the board members and the principal. I also basically read it as a voice message on to the superintendents voice mail.

I wrote a complaint to directors@allstate.com expressing that I'd be watching the media for their reaction to the controversy and then deciding whether or not I'd do business with them now or in the furture. I also asked that they forward my original letter to Eddie Hood since his Allstate email was no longer working and included it.

Isn't it ironic that two of the greatest writers in American literature were born in Mississippi?!? I speak of Eudora Welty and Tennessee Williams! Yet, Mississippi today has some of the poorest education statistics in the country. They have one of the highest AIDS rates in the country. Their denial is palpable in so many ways, and this is just another example of their small-mindedness. Is this what they mean when they say "the South will rise again?" Well, if they do, we should just take our collective fists and pound them back down to the ground!!! Until they stay down!

Since I sincerely doubt my email will be read (by the recipients whose boxes haven't returned an error message), I'd like to leave my response here as an open letter to the Itawamba County School District:

By now I am sure you have been inundated by emails outraged by the actions that you and the school board have taken in order to keep Constance McMillen from attending her prom with the date of her choice. I am also betting that most of these are going unread and unanswered, but I feel that I need to write you and say that what you have done is deplorable. Not only have you denied a young woman the right to go to her prom, but when challenged about it you decide to cancel the entire thing. I am sure you felt you had the best of intentions, but what you have done is commit social blackmail. Because she chose to fight you, you have made her into a social pariah who will likely be blamed for your actions. In fact, there have already been reports about people treating her unfairly. The reasoning behind your decision (that this is causing a "distraction") is, in my opinion, unsound. What this is doing is causing MORE distraction as people are daily reminded of the fact that they no longer have a prom. Something that may have been discussed at and for a short time after the prom has now become a topic likely brought up daily, now and everyday leading up to the date it was scheduled and likely until graduation.

I understand that in the Bible Belt you must feel that it is your duty to uphold the beliefs and mores of the community at large. After all, these are the people who elect you. But consider the stance that Jesus himself might have taken. He never preached a gospel of exclusion. Love and understanding above all else. How then can you justify canceling the prom just so that you can not have to be subjected to seeing two women dance?

Secondly, look at how history has favored other people who have taken a stand against a policy of inclusion. The Little Rock Nine, nine students who were to be integrated into a Kansas public school, were forcibly stopped by Governor Orval Faubus. This stance turned him into one of the most reviled men in the nation. While I doubt, unlike Governor Faubus, you do not aspire for higher public office, consider the ramifications of your actions in the light of history.

Lastly, consider the good you could do standing up for personal freedom. Ms. McMillen isn't asking for your blessing on her relationship, nor is she asking you to give her the right to someday marry her partner legally. What she is asking is for the right to attend prom like any normal high school student. Taking a stance for basic human liberty, however unpopular, is always the right choice. It makes you a hero and a true Christian.

Sincerely,
Joey Baity

Where can we donate to the alternaprom?

Here's mine (the usual three addresses bounced, hopefully the others went through):

Superintendent McNeece and members of the Itawamba County School District:

I am writing to express my dismay and disgust at the sheer cussed wrongheadedness of your decision to cancel the Itawamba Agricultural High School prom rather than allow Constance McMillen to wear a tuxedo and bring her girlfriend to the dance.

You have chosen to punish the entire student population -- WHO HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG -- in order to enforce your will against one student -- WHO ALSO HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG. As far as I know, homosexuality is not illegal in Mississippi, nor is wearing a suit and pants. Honestly, considering modern fashions, that tux probably will make her the least scandalously dressed girl in the entire place.

You realize, I hope, that she and her girlfriend could have chosen to bring some random cooperative boys to the dance, and then danced with whomever she liked once she was in the door. (I trust you aren't going to employ monitors to enforce that everybody only "dance with who brung ya.") That would have gotten around your arbitrary and useless rule. Instead, she chose to ask you to treat her fairly, equally, and meaningfully. Rather than be fair, you resorted to the opposite extreme of unfairness, punishing not only her, but the entire school.

You claim that cancelling the dance is to minimize the distraction surrounding this. It should be obvious by now that tactic has utterly backfired. The uproar is literally worldwide (isn't the Internet wonderful?), and you and the rest of the board look like complete idiots. Worse, the other students are blaming Constance for the loss of the dance. She is not the one who cancelled the event. YOU ARE. If anyone ruined the prom for the rest of the kids, it's YOU. Her homosexuality is not to blame; her tuxedo is not to blame; YOU are to blame. You are putting your school district at serious risk of liability, if she suffers violence or other harm in connection with YOUR decision.

I strongly urge you to reconsider your ill-advised course of action. Reinstate the prom, let her wear what she wants, and let her bring the date of her choice. Her presence in a tuxedo will be the least footnote on the night, as will her girlfriend, provided that you finally acquire the good sense to treat this as the non-issue that it truly is.

Regards,
--TL
California

I think it's working! They're definiely bombarded. I called Superintendent McNeece and her voice mailbox was full, so I was rerouted and left a message on their central voice mail. I also called the principal who was "not in" and left a message with the secretary asking what they planned to do to prevent retaliation against Constance and assured her that I expected to hear back from him and would keep calling back if he did not return my call.

I love you so much, Dan Savage. This is excellent.

Why not also send emails to the EMPLOYERS of the members of the board to let them know what kind of people they have working for them?

Tony Wallace works as a pilot for F L Crane & Sons a contractor with 12 locations across the Southeast, headquartered in Pensacola, FL. The owner's name is Chip Crane, and his email address is ccrane@flcrane.com. (http://www.flcrane.com/locations.htm)

Eddie Hood used to work for Allstate in Tupelo, MS, but he is now "retired."

Can't find much on the others... not even a home phone number...

For all those interested in DONATING TO AN ALTERNATIVE PROM:

I wrote to the MS Safe Schools Coalition, and they are working on one already. Here's part of the email that she sent back to me,

"Yes, absolutely. We have been planning a Second Chance Prom and are heading up efforts to coordinate anything to support the youth at IAHS. We originally planned to hold the event in Jackson, but are now moving to Tupelo in order to most support IAHS.
The MS Safe Schools Coalition's fiscal agent is the ACLU of MS, and so for legal purposes the donations and expenses would be managed through there. Donations would be made out to the ACLU of MS but you can earmark them (in Address 2 line if it's not needed) so that they go in to the MSSC Fund, and the monies will only be used for MSSC purposes, such as the Second Chance Prom. The link to the donation page is: https://co.clickandpledge.com/sp/d1/defa….
The MS Safe Schools Coalition is currently trying to manage all the support and love that individuals are showing from around the country. We are currently working with some donors on a prom already, and we would love to work with you as well. The more support we have the more injustices we can take on, such as the situation at hand in Itawamba."

Hope some of you who wrote about wanting to donate are able to check back on the comments and see this ;)

Grrr, the link got cut off. Here it is again

https://co.clickandpledge.com/sp/d1/defa…

The following was sent to Ms McNeece
-----------------

Ms McNeece

Given that your actions as superintendent in canceling the prom have endangered the well being of one of your students, Constance McMillen, I can not see how in good Conscience continue in your position.

If any of the student body acts agressively toward Ms McMillen you will be inevitably responsible. As Ms McMillen is an inteligent woman and is very likely aware that you can legally be held responsible for actions taken against he as a result of your actions, I would suggest you consider hiring a very good lawyer.

Let's hope your actions don't lead to this conclusion. Your ignorance and lack of forth thought is leading you and your board into trouble. All you have done in attempting to shelter your school from Gay and lesbian rights, is to hand Gay activists the means to enstill Gay rights in the school district you serve. In other words you have done no good at all, for your homophobic friends. As for me and my Gay friends would should thank you but we won't because your motives were far from Christian in anyway.

Best of Luck and G-d Bless.

Abdula Al Qrim

Assuming this is a Christian, religious community- the people of God and Jesus who consider themselves open and loving this is as low as it gets. Give me your tired, your weary, your gay....oh wait, no, not you...

Seriously. This country needs to grow. up. This girl is so lucky in that she knows who she is and isn't afraid to be that, when most of us spend the better part of our lives trying to figure that out whether we're gay or not. She deserves a medal for standing up for her God given rights.

Why do such conservative people waste so much time focusing on things like homosexuality when the rest of the world is actually blowing each other up? When we're running out of sustainable food sources and babies are being born with chemical chains of plastic in their DNA since our world is so polluted. When there are people dying from natural disasters by the hundreds of thousands? Think they even know what a prom is? This makes me ashamed to be an upper middle class white person. History repeating itself over and over and over again. A history of entitlement and putting others down, even our own kind, just to seem higher and better.

I'm disgusted.

Thanks Dan for alerting me to this important story. I've been a huge fan of your real-world sex advice ever since I was a gay youth back in 1993, and I've become a bigger fan over the years that you've continued writing about sexual politics, ignorance and discrimination. In 1993, my Livermore CA high school considered canceling its prom after the Oakland Tribune announced I would be taking a male date. Luckily for the school, my absences and truancies -- I was cutting because of death threats and attacks -- made me ineligible to graduate and attend anyway, so the prom went on without a hitch. Everyone was happy, I got my GED, moved to San Francisco, and became a journalist.

I made my donation here: https://co.clickandpledge.com/sp/d1/defa…. It's fast and easy. Be sure to specify in the Address2 field that you want it for "Constance-prom".

You know, if everyone who commented on this board contributed $15 toward an alternative prom, we would have $2,550 just like that. Not to mention all of the people not on this board...

Also, I think that idea has the potential to be a way more powerful message than any amount of public shaming on the left-behind-in-the-60s school board and superintendent.

One of my favorite threads, ever. Donated $$ to the alterna-prom, which I hope gets a bunch of cool straight kids too. Also wrote seething (but controlled) letters to school board members and superintendent. I have not been a target of discrimination myself, being a middle-aged, heterosexual, WASPish civil servant with a not-unhappy background, BUT I have Empathy for other human beings, you know? To me this is a big part of what it means to be a Christian. These people are all about hate and ugliness.

Letters to the editor of the town? If the sup's v-mail is full, there are other people we could be calling, yes?

I know that I will be in the minority on this but I do not feel sorry for Constance Miller. As far as I can tell, when you are talking about attending a school-sponsored event, the school and school district have a right to set the rules for attending such an event. When I went to my prom, my date and I had to sign a document which said, among other things, that we could be put out of the prom if the school chaperones present felt that our clothes, dancing, language or any other conduct was not appropriate for a school sponsored function. With this in mind, it seems to me that the school can therefore tell a female student that she cannot wear a suit to prom if they so choose. Do I believe this is a fair application of clothes not appropriate for a school function idea? No. However, it is still the right of the school to make that determination as far as I can tell. My school did not have regulations about whether a couple had to be heterosexual. Instead, they required that the tickets be distributed in pairs. I went with my boyfriend but I also had a large group of friends who went as a gang of sorts and only paired up to pick up their tickets. There were two lesbian couples at my prom but nothing was made of it because they were our classmates and we expected them to bring their girlfriends. One girl in each couple did show up in a suit but again, nothing was made of it. Those girls and their dates were acting like they did every other day at school. I only have to wonder why Constance Miller felt the need to ask for permission. If she wanted to go to prom, all she had to do was get fitted for her suit, get her lady and come to the dance. It is very likely that she and her girlfriend would have gotten into the dance and had a nice time. The worst that could have happened is that they may have been asked to leave before the end of the dance but at least they would have been able to go. Now with all this legal posturing, no one is having prom. As sad as it is, prom is a privilege not a right.

My Letter, Subject .... Brown Eyes, Blue Eyes or Hazel Eyes

Dear Itawamba County School District members,

In response to Constance McMillen and your poor decision to cancel the prom.

Pay attention, own up to your OWN feelings!!! Don't place the blame on the students saying that "THEY"
would feel uncomfortable. Kids today are changing and adapting to their surroundings. It's YOU who would feel
uncomfortable and out of place (OWN IT). Have the prom, for crying out loud, you'll see that there will be acceptance and
love that surround her instead of individuals shunning and ridiculing. Grow up! It's 2010!!

I ask myself simple questions about individuals like you who attempt at keeping progress from happening.
I ask "Gee, I wonder how many gay family members you have?" And "Did you really have a tremendously negative
experience with a homosexual?" "Were you ever REALLY offended or disrespected?"...honestly? "Did you ever stop to wonder
why Gays are gay?" Lastly, "Did you ever wonder why God gave you Brown Eyes, Blue Eyes or Hazel Eyes?".....
I'm assuming that you probably haven't questioned your eye color because that's just what the Good Lord gave you.
It's easily accepted because it's something that can be seen and understood (just like other races and cultures).
Unfortunately, people want to run from homosexuality because it's something that we can't see or understand....it's
something that JUST IS. We are constantly put in the position of needing to accept and welcome MANY other
aspects of our lives even though we may not agree with it or understand it. How old are you? Really? Come on!

The cliches in life that continuously come at me ...."IT'S ALL ABOUT ACCEPTING IT" and "IT IS WHAT IT IS".
Open your eyes... and your heart. What if Rosa Parks never stood up for HER RIGHT?? Think about it... and
I MEAN..... REALLY THINK ABOUT IT. It's not going away, Constance is not going away, homosexuals and
other minorities are not going away. Speaking of which, Constance is just one of many gay students in her class and
just so happens to be an Early Bloomer. As the years go on, more of her classmates will discover who they really
are... yes, homosexuals. Did you know that 10% of her classmates are gay? Just thought I would 'educate' you on a
fact that may have slipped through the cracks. Be a part of history, help support our youth who are taking a stand for
their right (after all, everyone seeks love and acceptance, right?)

THIS is the perfect example of why the teenage suicide rate is so high. Coming up as a teenager is difficult enough as it is
let alone coming up as a homosexual with the world against you. What role do you want to play in this? Super Hero or Villain?

I hope you make the right decision.

Peace to you,
Adele George

MediaCurves.com conducted a media study among viewers of a news clip about a school’s cancellation of prom due to a lesbian student wanting to take her girlfriend to the dance. Results found that the majority of viewers (77%) believed that the school’s actions were an act of discrimination. Furthermore, the vast majority of viewers (88%) indicated that the actions by the school were not appropriate. More in depth results can be seen at: http://www.mediacurves.com/NationalMedia…
Thanks,
Ben

I'm late to the party, but here is my letter:
Dear Ms. McNeece,

I was sorry to hear about the recent cancellation of your school's prom, and the stated reasons for it. As an educator myself, I know that real life issues of civil rights are not "distractions" from the curriculum. If anything, they enhance the curriculum by allowing students and teachers to apply critical literacy to issues that matter to them and to their lives.

Schools can claim neutrality, and can claim that the choices they make are to preserve the education of their students. However, every choice schools make sends a clear message to students about what that school values. When your school district chose to cancel prom instead of embracing a teachable moment, you communicated to students that you value ease of administration over open discourse, and that the safety of gay, lesbian, and bisexual students and their allies is of little to no importance to you. You have placed those students at risk of bullying and hate crimes from students and community members in your population.

How much time in the past week have you spent deleting messages like mine, erasing voicemails, and talking about this issue? Do you honestly think it was less time than what you would have spent allowing two young people to celebrate the end of their senior year together? Is it less time than what it would have taken to educate yourself, your students and your staff about embracing difference and supporting one another as a community of learners and a community of individuals?

Reverse your decision. Do not encourage community members to host an alternative prom that will shut people out. Make a change that communicates your dedication to the education and growth of every child, no matter whom that child loves.

A lot of ppl on here are focusing their anger on the whole of the southern US, I think it is hypocritical to lambaste someone for stereotyping and prejudice in the same sentence with a statement like "Typical South..." remember this is about one tiny town in Mississippi, please don't lump every Southerner in with the few relics who are still living in the past. Yes, we all have TV's. No, we don't ride horses to school. And we are appalled by racism, sexism, homophobia and other types of marginalization. For those of you who think the South is like a barbaric third world country, I think YOU are the ignorant ones.

Having said that, I think what really happened was that the event was probably sensationalized by the teachers and staff. I have found that teenagers are much more easily adaptable to differences than adults think. In a small town, gossip and sensationalism are a favorite passtime. I hope this turns out well for Constance.

Eddie Hood wanted to marry Clara Brown, down thar in Itawamba County ..

Eddie: Paw, I wants ter marry Clara Brown.

Paw: Waal thet's just fine, Eddie..we could do with somw new blood in ourn family.

Eddie: Paw, thar's a predikumunt .. Clara's one o' them thar virgins!

Paw: Weddin's off !!! .. If she ain't good enuf fer her family, she ain't good enuf fer ourn!

The school district has a right to enforce its policies in order to protect the majority of its students.

Clay Boggess
http://www.BigEventFundraising.com

The school district has a right to enforce its policies in order to protect the majority of its students.

Clay Boggess
http://www.BigEventFundraising.com

Whow that is really crazy. I hope that most of the people will learn that we have to respect everyone.

Kind regards Autoverzekering