It's true that it's about as well-written as most porn.

Ugh. Mars Hill Redneck Church: come for the hipsters, stay for the hillbillies.

From the headline I thought I might actually agree with ol pastor mark, but after reading his statement I kind of want to try out the teen vampire thing.

OK next year at HUMP! no more dance numbers in the mars hill parking lot, we need vampire porn in the mars hill parking lot.

Oh ferfucksakes!! There's plenty to complain about in Twilight... that some kids convert to paganism after reading mormon-porn is more a sweet sweet irony than a bad thing.

Good for Mark that fear mongering and blaming the most recent craze never goes out of style within a church. (See also: franchise, Harry Potter) He's just way late to the game on this one.

"You're a cult!" said the cultist to the cultist.

he's just jealous.

Weird... I thought Jesus was into getting his blood sucked and coming back from the dead. Plus the entire plot of Twilight is about abstinence until heterosexual marriage, where a woman submits to her husband and gains eternal life through him and the pain of childbirth. If Driscoll had any sense he'd be pushing Twilight to his younger followers to try to maintain a shred of relevance.

Dark Shadows turned me into a heroin-using, Satan-worshiping vampire.

So is porn ok for teenage girls then? I am confused.

Gotta give Driscoll a bit of credit: at least he didn't bring up Stephanie Meyer being a member of the Mormon cult.

"Tragically, many will be driven by their parents, including some cougar moms encouraging and joining their daughters’ obsession with handsome young males."

LOL.

I knew I liked Twilight for a reason. Thanks Pastor Whatshisface!

I like:

"Satan is real, clever, and a deceiver who [will] attempt to lure people towards darkness with methods like 'harmless' entertainment, possibly in the form of bad acting and melodrama."

LAUGHING FOREVER.

Breaking News: Christian idiot can't grasp subtext.

@12 That omission is a bug, not a feature. The more hypocrisy, the better.

Never thought I'd see the day I'd appreciate something about Twilight.

http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight

I'll just leave this here.

I'm genuinely horrified by the idea that teenage girls might be influenced by the ideas of Mark Driscoll, whereas I'm just kind of mildly disgusted that they might be influenced by Twilight.

@20 Thank you! I'm shocked that I've managed to spend a couple of hours in recent weeks reading The Oatmeal, and failed to see that. Hee-larious.

...proving that you can be largely correct, for completely wrong reasons.

he shouldnt stop at Twilite....how about, in no particular order:

Dracula, Frankenstein,Faust, Divine Comedy, MacBeth, well, almost all of Shakespeare really, anything with ghosts...Dicken's A Christmas Carol e.g.

How many of the classics of Western Literature that have been taught forever.... most mention non 'Biblical' gods, ghosts, demons and their ilk.... crike, Beowulf, The Odessey, The Aenid, most Camelot tales...when does the Ballard book burning begin?

at least I feel condident that long after Mars Hill is bulldozed to build more condos and Driscoll is long forgotten that kids will still be downloading vampire-zombie-alien movies on the latest e-gizmo and enjoying their porn.

Driscoll is a tool. How anyone takes him seriously both amazes & scares me.

".... to be awakened to their own salvation of a new spiritual way of life filled with sex and occult behavior."

What's not to like about that? Sounds like my twenties.

In the place of Jesus’ shed blood, girls and boys shed their own blood to be awakened to their own salvation of a new spiritual way of life filled with sex and occult behavior.

At least the vampire gives the gift of eternal salvation personally, instead of covering his ass gift-wise for all humanity until the end of time.

"Thanks for the gift Jesus. I guess the name tag fell off, huh?"