Savage Love Letter of the Day: Is "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Right For You?

I'm a 34-year-old mostly straight woman in the Southwest US. My amazing boyfriend is 30 and straight. We've been together about 2.5 years, and we love and respect each other dearly and deeply. Here's the issue: while we both prefer monogamy, we both realize that we'll be sexually attracted to others throughout our lives, and I don't want either of us to get bored sexually. However, neither of us knows how to deal with the thought of our partner being sexually intimate with someone else. I'm afraid I would be emotionally damaged beyond repair. Every girlfriend he's had before me has cheated on him. How could we ever possibly learn to be monogamish and still maintain our healthy relationship?! We've discussed being together for the rest of our lives, but I honestly don't know if we can do that within the constraints of monogamy. But I don't know how to deal with anything else. Please help! This is the most open, loving, trusting relationship I've ever had, and I'd really like to learn to make it the best it can be for the long haul, for both of us.

Concerned About New Distressing Scenarios

Continue reading »

Food Guy Anthony Bourdain Is a Stooges Fan

Bourdains good taste extends to his love of the Stooges—especially Fun House.
You may find it hard to swallow, but Bourdain's quite fond of the Stooges' "Penetration." Tinseltown/

Tho' I like to eat, I've never paid much attention to author and TV personality Anthony Bourdain. I do, however, recognize his name and know what he seems to be THE fave foodie guy. Well, surprisingly, he's also a bit of a head who, like Jesus, LOVES the Stooges! Yup, and he recounts his high-school era affection for this past Saturday's Tumblr preview of his show Parts Unknown (last night's broadcast). It's brilliant to hear him explaining how only no-count "speed-freaks" and wanna-be mechanics were Stooges fans. And, if you publicly admitted to being a Stooges fan in his high school, your schoolmates assumed you were also a fan of the Velvet Underground and probably were shooting dope! those dying days of the 60’s, when you showed up at school actually carrying a vinyl album under your arm — to advertise the fact that you thought the Allman Brothers were awesome (they weren’t), or that you knew every note of Flying Burrito Brothers, or that you had the good taste and discerning nature to appreciate the works of Fairport Convention, carrying a STOOGES album under your arm set you apart. And not in good way.

Continue reading »


New Council Member John Okamoto Sworn In, Calls on Council to Find "Common Interests"

The Seattle City Councils newest member: John Okamoto.
The Seattle City Council's newest member: John Okamoto. City of Seattle

In a meeting mostly absent the same hostilities that defined his appointment last week, the Seattle City Council's newest member, John Okamoto, was sworn in today.

Continue reading »

Age of Ultron Is Heroically Overstuffed

This is serious business.
"This is serious business."

Even those whose nerd blood runs lukewarm should acknowledge the skill with which The Avengers did its thing, throwing together multiple franchises into a jumbo combo pack that somehow didn’t feel like a letdown. Age of Ultron is, it must be said, a clunkier affair than its predecessor, shoehorning too many new characters into a narrative that devotes more time to setting up future conflicts than to resolving the ones in the constantly exploding now. And yet, while you’re watching it, none of these deficits really seem to matter all that much. Warts and all, this is one of the all-too-rare preordained blockbusters that doesn’t take the audience’s enjoyment for granted.

Opening with a confidently show-offy battle scene, director Joss Whedon’s script finds Iron Man, Black Widow, Hulk, and the rest putting aside their ideological bickering...

Read article »

John Oliver Takes On Standardized Tests, Citing Seattle High School Boycott

Last night, the irrepressible John Oliver took on the Obama administration and its push for standardized testing. At about the two-minute mark, he cites the fact that every junior at Nathan Hale High School, which is near Northgate, opted out of the Smarter Balanced tests last month. (Juniors at Garfield High School also boycotted the tests.) "The only other thing that an entire class of juniors has managed to agree on," quips Oliver, "is that The Scarlet Letter could be told much simpler with emojis."

Seattle-area education blogger Melissa Westbrook calls the Last Week Tonight segment "a thing of beauty." Watch it:

A Talk With Cary Moon, Jerry Garcia, and Others at Hedreen Gallery Tonight

She is staring at and worried about the future of Seattle...
She is staring at and worried about the future of Seattle... Virginia Wilcox

At 6 p.m. tonight, Cary Moon will discuss her manifesto Seattle Spring at the After Seattle exhibit at Hedreen Gallery. I will also have a conversation about Seattle with local businessman Dave Meinert. And you can also see the installation by Olson Kundig Architects' Jerry Garcia, who will give a brief talk, and the two parts of my collaboration with Sean Ono Lennon called Park.

I, Anonymous: Tip Your Driver, Richie Rich

steven weissman

I drive for Uber and have given more than 500 rides. I have been tipped six times. Three of those tips came from Chinese exchange students. Zero came from the well-paid, well-served tech employees who are the bulk of my business. The tip is NOT included on your Uber ride. But deep down, you knew that, didn't you? That cleaner, nicer car providing far superior service for a MUCH lower price than a taxi is owned, maintained, and insured by your driver. Your driver buys the fuel and the tires. The miles go onto your driver's car. I know it seems unbelievable, but the rate doesn't include a tip. Shocking, right? You had no idea, right? So instead of telling me how great Uber is and how nice my car is, give a little love if you think the service is good...

Read article »

Whoa! Have You Seen the New Seattle Arts & Lectures Lineup?

It was impossible to watch Baltimore last week and not think of Claudia Rankine’s book, Citizen: An American Lyric, the latest printing of which features this dedication page:

from Citizen: An American Lyric
Claudia Rankine's Citizen is the first book ever to be simultaneously a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award in Poetry and the National Book Critics Circle Award in Criticism. Seattle Arts & Lectures is bringing her to town next year. Kenny Coble

To this list we have to add Walter Scott and Freddie Gray. And, as Rankine writes, so long as white men can’t police their imaginations, we’ll be forced to keep adding more names. But her notion that our imaginations spark actions that perpetuate racism suggests that the imagination is key in the fight to reduce racism, or at least to reduce the number of instances of it.

The 2015/2016 season of Seattle Arts and Lectures—just announced on Friday—looks amazing. It looks like a syllabus designed to digest what the fuck happened last year, and what is, unfortunately, still happening.

Continue reading »


107.7 The End Expands EDM Show Subtronic and Adds Guest DJs

The Prodigys The Day Is My Enemy is a mainstay of the Subtrönic End show.
The Prodigy's "The Day Is My Enemy" is a mainstay of the Subtrönic End show.

Last November, Seattle radio station 107.7 The End started a Saturday night show called Subtrönic End to focus on EDM. Hosted by DJ Zach van Lue, the program has proved popular enough to merit expanding an hour to the 10 pm-1 am slot, and starting May 1, it will include guest hosts. "The expansion really gives the show the flexibility it needs to go deeper," Zach says. He is welcoming local DJs to send their own mixes to be aired on Subtrönic End; e-mail him at (Here's the tracklist for the May 2 show, including a guest set by Decibel Festival director Sean Horton, to get an idea of Subtrönic's flavor.)


Video: Seattle Police Burn Seattle Times Reporter's Foot With a Flashbang Grenade

A flashbang device explodes right next to Seattle Times reporter Paige Cornwell (on the left).
A flashbang grenade explodes next to Seattle Times reporter Paige Cornwell (ducking, on the left). Alex Garland

On May Day, Seattle police threw dozens of flashbang grenades—what the department calls "blast balls"—into crowds of protesters. One man showed me a welt on his back that he said was caused by a flashbang. A photographer named Scott Lum suffered a bloody injury to his face. He said he wasn't sure what caused it, but that flashbangs were going off around him.

Video shot by freelance photographer Alex Garland with a shoulder-mounted camera shows a flashbang exploding next to Seattle Times reporter Paige Cornwell. Cornwell was injured—her right foot burned and bruised—and went to the hospital that evening (it happens at the 13 second mark).

Continue reading »

Bernie Sanders on This Week: Don't Underestimate Me

Two great moments in Bernie Sanders's appearance on This Week. The first happens when, after explaining that he is a democratic socialist along the lines of the political systems that prevail in Sweden, Denmark, and Norway, George Stephanopoulos, the show's host, says: "I can hear the Republican attack ad right now: He wants America to look more like Scandinavia."

Sanders responds: "That's right, that's right. And what's wrong with that?"

Continue reading »

In Defense of the Iceberg Wedge: Four Places Where the Underappreciated Salad Is Far from Bland

Slim’s Wedge is especially tasty when eaten out on the patio.
Slim’s Wedge is especially tasty when eaten out on the patio. kelly o

When it comes to iceberg lettuce, I'm with James Beard. "I would like to say a few words in defense of iceberg lettuce," the renowned American cookbook author once wrote, "a green that has been utterly damned by the food snobs in this country." Yes, homely cabbage-like iceberg lacks the spicy thrill of arugula, the cachet of frisée, the heartiness of kale, the bitter crunch of endive, and the tenderness of green leaf. But when it comes to texture, these greens have got nothing on iceberg's pure and beautiful crunch.

Iceberg lettuce was known as crisphead lettuce until the late 1920s, when Bruce Church had the idea to start shipping lettuce from Salinas, California, across the country...

Read article »

Seattle City of Literature—the Organization Ryan Boudinot Founded—Has a New Board


As you probably remember, Ryan Boudinot sparked a ton of backlash with that piece he wrote about MFA writing students.

After it came out, the board of his organization, Seattle City of Literature, quit.

The board refused to talk to me about why.

Continue reading »


The City Just Put a Major Roadblock in Front of Shell’s Arctic Drilling Rig

This thing in Elliott Bay? Not so fast, says the citys Department of Planning and Development.
This thing in Elliott Bay? Not so fast, says the city's Department of Planning and Development. Kelly O

The City of Seattle may have just seriously impeded Shell's ability to moor its Arctic drilling fleet in Elliott Bay—for now.

At the Climate Solutions annual breakfast this morning, Mayor Ed Murray announced that the city's Department of Planning and Development reviewed the 20-year-old permit allowing Shell to use Terminal 5, and found that hosting Arctic drilling equipment is not in compliance with it.

Continue reading »

Ben Carson Enters GOP Race with "A Glory Hallelujah Star-Spangled Jesus Frenzy"

That's how Joe Jervis describes the campaign kickoff event of former brain surgeon and current antigay hater Ben Carson. It took place earlier today in Detroit. Here's the video:

I'm gonna take Joe's word for the color guard, the gospel choir, the Christian quintet, and Mrs. Ben Carson playing the national anthem on her violin before Mr. Ben Carson took the stage because this fucking thing is an hour and 40 minutes long. Life's too short to spend nearly two hours trapped inside a Ben Carson patriotic fever/wet dream. But I did see a clip of Carson asking the audience to quiet down because "we have limited time." Seems to me that time wouldn't have been so tight if Ben had gone with either the gospel choir or the quintet but not, you know, the choir and the quintet.

Continue reading »