We Have a Two WinnerS for the Thunderpussy Ticket Giveaway! Listen to their Winning Entries

Neumos. Contestants Christine Mitchell and Brian Barker will both be going (with guests) to see Tickets on sale here.
Neumos. Contestants Christine Mitchell and Brian Barker will both be going (with guests) to see Tickets on sale here.

Thank you for participating in our contest.

The results are in and the esteemed panel of judges has taken the unprecedented step of awarding not one but TWO pairs of tickets to tonight's amazing rock show at Neumos. Contestants Christine Mitchell and Brian Barker will both be going (with guests) to see Bod, Draemhouse, Nightmare Fortress, and, of course, the band whose name provided the motor of the contest, Thunderpussy.

As the winning entries demonstrate, there is a wide spectrum of approaches to verbalizing the magic compound word, from the full-throated, seasonally-themed approach of Ms. Mitchell:

...to the more muted, gender-appropriate reading essayed by Mr. Barker:

In any case, there's only one response to seeing them play: Whoa.

In fact, every band on this bill deserves loud proclamations, so here's hoping that both winners, and all the rest of you (who are, to be sure, ALSO WINNERS), get there in time for the 8pm doors. And thanks to all who entered the contest.

Enjoy the show, and have a tolerable Thanksgiving!

Lightning Strikes Twice with Creed


If you have a special place in your heart for the 1976 Oscar winner Rocky, and firmly believe it was never topped by any of its five sequels—yes, even the beloved Rocky III with Mr. T—you and I are in agreement, and have much to discuss. More than any of the films that followed, Sylvester Stallone's Rocky had a very particular and sweet tone. It was less about training montages and battling steroid-pumped Ruskies, and more about broken people fighting to be somewhat less broken. It had an aura of perfect simplicity—which is why it pierced our hearts and guts, and why it was never successfully equaled... until, perhaps, now…

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WA State Representative Who Made Islamophobic Comments Laughs at Democratic Spokesperson's Lebanese Surname

Dont worry: Rodne has Muslim friends.
Don't worry: Rodne has Muslim friends. WA.GOV

Two weeks ago, after the attacks in Paris, Washington state representative Jay Rodne posted a typo-ridden comment on Facebook, saying Islam was "incompatible" with Western civilization and imploring Americans to "arm" themselves. Soon after, Democrats called for the Republican from Snoqualmie to be ousted from his position as ranking GOP member of the House Judiciary Committee.

This week, Rodne went on a conservative podcast to respond to some of the criticism. During his interview with Freedom Foundation managing editor Jeff Rhodes, Rodne tried to justify his comments by claiming that one or two of the Paris attackers were "newly arrived Syrian refugees." This is false. So far, every attacker and accomplice has been identified as a European citizen.

Rodne also mischaracterized statements made by FBI director James Comey about the "risk" refugees pose to national security. While Comey has acknowledged that vetting refugees is never risk-free, he also said there's no credible threat of a Paris-type attack in the United States, and CNN has reported that Comey has concerns about the GOP-led bill to restrict Syrian refugees from entering the United States.

In a more egregious part of the interview, Rodne laughs when Rhodes makes fun of the surname of Jamal Raad, communications director for the Washington State Democrats. Raad's father is from Lebanon. Listen here:

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Watch Seth Meyers (Nicely!) Hand Sarah Palin Her Ass

On Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host welcomed guest Sarah Palin—I guess no one else was available?—and (very nicely) took her to task regarding her hardline views on America accepting Syrian refugees. He even had to explain to her how the federal government vets newcomers to our country! (Try not to think too hard about the wrong people going into political office.)

Bonus Video! If your head doesn't explode, maybe check out this clip of Bill O'Reilly and Donald Trump, in which Bill tries to get Donald to soften his stance on Syrian refugees. THINGS DON'T GO TOO WELL.

"At First, I Thought It Was the PA Cracking Up." Eagles of Death Metal Talk to Vice about Bataclan Terrorist Attack

The bands account is harrowing but necessary.
The band's account is harrowing but necessary.

This is some heavy material, but you should really take 26 minutes and watch it. The way the band members describe the events is powerful and necessary. Among the many stirring moments, these lines, spoken by a visibly emotional Jesse Hughes, are probably the most rousing:

“I don’t want to spend my life trying to appease or not appease assholes. I want to spend my life smiling with my friends and entertaining them. I cannot wait to get back to Paris. I cannot wait to play. I want to come back. I want to be the first band to play in the Bataclan when it opens back up… Our friends went there to see rock and roll and died. I’m gonna go back there and live.”

These were human beings playing rock music. These were human beings watching and listening to a rock band. This could happen anywhere.

Religion is toxic.

I can't imagine a scenario in which someone who wants or needs a trigger warning would be interested in a video of this kind, but take note that there is audience footage of the band playing when the gunfire begins.

My Philosophy: Seattle Rap Continuum

Silas Blak is unmistakable, influential, and consistently intense across decades.
Silas Blak is unmistakable, influential, and consistently intense across decades.

If you've been steeped in Northwest rap since the Clinton era, you know Silas Blak well. A commanding and singular presence since the days of Blind Council, through Seattle's compilation era (he pops up on Do the Math and Classic Elements both), he's been an unmistakable, influential, and consistent voice. Dense and cerebral, forever raw and uncompromising, he's absolutely one of Seattle's most consistent MCs, barring no one. (Though definitely an acquired taste. If you're looking for personality-cult stuff, big hooks, or signature ad libs—let alone a clear narrative or clearly defined rhyme schemes—you're assed out here. Think a more abstract Saafir, if you can get to that.)…

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Kasich Camp Releases Anti-Trump Attack Ad

How stupid are the people of Iowa? Couldn't tell you. But I can tell you the people of Austria are gonna be pissed about the abuse of An der schönen blauen Donau, aka the unofficial Austrian national anthem. This would've been a far better music choice.

23 December Events You Should Buy Tickets For Now

Amy Schumer will be in town on New Years Eve.
Amy Schumer will be in town on New Year's Eve. Amy Schumer

December is a busy month, so don't wait to make plans. Here are 23 excellent events happening next month that you should buy your tickets for now—from The Book of Mormon to Sir Mix-a-Lot and Mary Lambert to the Winter Beer Fest. See even more events on our Things To Do calendar.

Come From Away
"Normally, I'm a stone when it comes to musicals, but by minute six or seven, I was smiling at all the small town charm and rooting for the spirit these people projected." -Rich Smith

The Nutcracker
"After retiring its much-loved Nutcracker last year, Pacific Northwest Ballet unveils a fresh one with new-to-the-company choreography by George Balanchine and a mystery design by illustrator (and theater designer) Ian Falconer." -Brendan Kiley

DEC 3-6
Predator Songstress
Longtime local multi-media performers Degenerate Art Ensemble—led by composer Joshua Kohl and butoh-inflected dancer Haruko "Crow" Nishimura—take the stage at On the Boards for their tenth full-length production.

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Frank Cassano's Imbecile Parade! What Are You Grateful for This Thanksgiving?


I'm grateful for my family, my friends, and, most of all, my best friend Captain Purrcard! He's my cat!
—Ken Bunn, 10, Central District

Here's a fun fact about kitties, kid: Only assholes put their goddamn cats in the same sentence as their friends and family! That drooling bag of fat and fur is merely exploiting you for food and shelter—and if cat syphilis hadn't already rotted out its tiny little brain, it'd also resent you for giving it such a bullshit name! How long do you think that fuckwit fleabag would "love" you if you forgot to feed it, you prepubescent moron? If you guessed "two seconds," you're slightly less of an imbecile than I thought. Still a pretty big imbecile, though…

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Still The Best Sex Tip for People Who Just Ate an Entire Thanksgiving Dinner

Eve Peyser shares some sex tips for people who've just eaten an entire Thanksgiving dinner:

If you're horny after your Thanksgiving feast, Ian Kerner, psychotherapist and author of She Comes First, has some suggestions for you. Kerner told Mic that you should lie in a comfortable position with your partner, "like side by side, where you can relax, get your breathing in sync, stare into each other's eyes instead of at each other's bodies, and go for slow lovemaking."

There is a major benefit to slow, lazy sex: It won't wake up your parents. "This could be a good opportunity for some really quiet sex," Kerner told Mic. That said, there are some caveats. Kerner advised against drinking too much wine at dinner, as that "will depress your nervous system," which can cause diminished sexual response. So maybe lay off the wine and pick up a joint instead.

I'm biased, of course, but I still think this is the single best Thanksgiving sex tip—as well as the single best Valentine's Day sex tip, wedding day sex tip, wedding anniversary sex tip, birthday sex tip, etc:

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Into His Gourds: Robert Rhee Makes Surprisingly Amazing Art Out of Humanity’s Oldest Plants

Winter Wheat: The sight of it will make your own skin tighten.
Winter Wheat: The sight of it will make your own skin tighten.

Set off by itself in a corner of the gallery, on a white pedestal, there is a brutalized object. It's a fleshy and brownish thing squeezing through the bars of an odd-looking metal cage. It blobs out on all sides, the sight of it making my own skin tighten. What I'm seeing looks like a gourd. A gourd in pain, like one of those male bodies all twisted up in the center of a noxious environment in a Francis Bacon painting. As the body tries to exert itself, the world punches back.

I first saw this sculpture this past summer, at the Out of Sight exhibition concurrent with Seattle Art Fair. It's by Robert Rhee, and he's showing more pieces from the same series this month at Glass Box Gallery. At Glass Box, some of the sculptures sit on pedestals and some hang on the walls. Each is a different variation that induces the same fundamental curiosity. Are those actual gourds, and if they are, how did they get inside those cages? It turns out that the answer involves the Washington State Gourd Society…

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VIDEO: Watch Lorena González's Inauguration Speech

“I don’t have the background of a typical politician, Lorena González said during her inauguration speech last night. Mine is a lived experience.”
“I don’t have the background of a typical politician," Lorena González said during her inauguration speech last night. "Mine is a lived experience.” Dan Nolte, City of Seattle

At her swearing in last night, Lorena González became the first Latina to ever serve on the Seattle City Council. The speech that followed was a moving tribute to her family and a pledge to represent those "living in the shadows."

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Want to Win a Free Pair of Tickets to the Thunderpussy Show Tonight? Just Say "Thunderpussy"!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and we're all cringing in our own particular magical ways. The dread of food, family, and cultural insensitivity combine to form a casserole of anxiety that no football naps in the Lay-Z-Boy can ever help you fully digest.

But tonight is NOT Thanksgiving, not yet. One way to stave off the feelings of anticipatory shame and dread is to get drunk while watching a bunch of excellent local bands play loud, effusive rock music and move about in a lewd and lascivious manner. Of course, I'm talking about the incredible bill of Thunderpussy, Nightmare Fortress, Draemhouse, and Bod TONIGHT at Neumos.

Tickets are $12, which is a screaming deal. But I know a better one. How about FREE? All you have to do to win your free pair of tickets to the show tonight is:

1) Make an AUDIO recording—on your phone's voice recorder app or any other handy device—of yourself saying, singing, screaming, or uncomfortably murmuring (my preferred method) the name of the headlining band, "Thunderpussy."

2) E-mail this recording to ThunderP@thestranger.com by 3pm.

The winning entry will be chosen almost immediately, and highlights will be posted to the Slog shortly thereafter.

•You must be 21 or older.
•You must be in Seattle.
•You must say "Thunderpussy" out loud.
•If you're not easily able to access an audio recording implement, you can call the Stranger at (206) 323-7101 and ask to leave a voice mail at extension 3002.

Scientists Discover Ted Cruz Even Stupider Than Originally Feared

Ted Cruz will need you to speak a little more slowly please.
Ted Cruz will need you to speak a little more slowly please. Christopher Halloran / Shutterstock.com

How dumb is Ted Cruz? Oh wow he's really super mega dumb. Not only does he look like a pile of rocks that's been assembled into a roughly human shape, that's about how smart he is, too.

And it's not just me saying that. It's been confirmed by science!

"This individual understands less about science (and climate change) than the average kindergartner," says Michael Mann, a Pennsylvania State University meteorology professor.

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Rubio Pledges to Fight Gay Marriage Because "God's Rules Always Win"


Ted Cruz is surging in Iowa. Surging in Iowa doesn't mean winning the nomination—Santorum famously surged from behind in Iowa in 2012 (best headline ever)—but Cruz's Iowa surge is forcing Marco Rubio to wiggle his tongue further up evangelical butt in Iowa:

Asked about same-sex marriage, Rubio tells Brody same-sex marriage "is current law, it is not settled law." He then compares it to another iconic Supreme Court decision, Roe v. Wade, which the Christian right is also trying to overturn. Both are considered settled law. Rubio offers up a biblical mandate. "We are clearly called to adhere to our civil authorities," he says. But then adds that when "that conflicts with our requirement to adhere to God's rules," he concludes, "God's rules always win." The Florida U.S. Senator also fear-mongers, saying, "if we're ever ordered to perform a same-sex marriage, as someone presiding over it, we are called to ignore that."

God's rules always win?

God has a hard-and-fast rule against divorce—and somehow Donald Trump may win the GOP nomination, Ronald Reagan wins every "greatest president ever" poll among Republicans, Mark Sanford won a seat in Congress, Karl Rove won one national election (and stole another), Bill O'Reilly is still winning the cable news ratings race, his boss Rupert Murdoch won control of (and will soon destroy) National Geographic...

Rubio doesn't really give a shit about God's rules. Rubio is promising to wage a long war against the constitutional rights (and civil marriages) of gay and lesbian Americans—a war modeled on the right's war on the constitutional rights (and reproductive freedom) of American women—in a transparent effort to win evangelical support. But this is a case where winning the primary could mean losing the general.

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