Savage Love Letter of the Day: Reader Advice Round-up

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Recent Savage Love Letters of the Day: A gay Australian sends a letter to his father, a woman wonders if an open relationship is medically necessary, a kinkster is lost on how to find the right kinkster. Also, last week's column and Savage Lovecast.

On the the gay trans man who isn't on hormones, hasn't had any gender confirmation surgeries, and presents femme and is frustrated because he's having a hard time finding gay men who'll date him (who called into the Savage Lovecast):

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Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri Is Southern Gothic with an Irish Accent

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One way you know a film is written by a playwright is when everything everyone says in it is clever and wise and perfect. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, written and directed by Martin McDonagh, never fails on this score. The dialogue, particularly when given life by actors Frances McDormand and Sam Rockwell, is hilarious and provocative. Rockwell in particular, as a dim-witted, violent, racist mama's boy redneck cop, was born to speak these lines.

Another sign that a theater person is in charge is that the story is all about the uncanny way that seeking revenge always makes everything worse, a reliable engine of drama since the form was invented.

But the biggest indicator that you're watching the work of a playwright is the sense that there's no way the story is what the film is really about. The three billboards in Three Billboards are signifiers and catalysts, but they're also red herrings (literally red, in fact).

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The Morning News: It's Thanksgiving, Guns Are Now More Easily Available Now, Shooting Inside Chop Suey, and Seattle "Teacher of the Future" No Longer Has One

Chowing down on Thanksgiving.
Chowing down on Thanksgiving.

THANKSGIVING: Some people are celebrating, some people are mourning, some people are telling you to get offline, and this asshole is violating the emoluments clause and enriching himself.

RACIST PRESIDENT ALWAYS RACISTING: "Let’s be clear about this: President Trump regularly goes out of his way to attack prominent African Americans not just to 'stoke the culture wars,' as this euphemism often has it—but, more precisely, to stoke the sense among many of his supporters that the system is unfairly rigged on behalf of minorities, and that he’s here to put things right," Greg Sargent writes at the Washington Post.

RACIST PRESIDENT ELECTED BY RACIST GOP BASE: Adam Serwer's new piece at The Atlantic about Trump's base—the GOP's base—is required reading. Read it out loud to your conservative/racist uncle at dinner tonight? And speaking of racist uncles: Mike Pesca unpacked the conservative/racist uncle trope on The Gist yesterday in another brilliant end-of-show spiel. Listen here.

RACIST CERAMICIST STILL RACISTING: Charles Krafft is a terrible human being.

WHITE HOUSE WATCH: Melania Trump touches stuff.

FBI: WHAT WE NEED ARE MORE BAD GUYS WITH GUNS: "Tens of thousands of people wanted by law enforcement officials have been removed this year from the FBI criminal background check database that prohibits fugitives from justice from buying guns," the Washington Post reports. "The names were taken out after the FBI in February changed its legal interpretation of 'fugitive from justice' to say it pertains only to wanted people who have crossed state lines. What that means is that those fugitives who were previously prohibited under federal law from purchasing firearms can now buy them, unless barred for other reasons."

SHOOTING ON CAPITOL HILL LAST NIGHT: "Two people were shot in the arm Wednesday night after a fight broke out at night club in Seattle's Capitol Hill neighborhood," KOMO reports. "Police got calls about 9:45 p.m. about shots fired inside the Chop Suey night club in the 13000 block of East Madison Street." Capitol Hill Seattle has updates and pics. This isn't the first time there's been a shooting inside Chop Suey.

ARMED AND TIMOROUS: "Three days after the deadliest mass shooting in modern American history, I fired a handgun for the first time," begins Sean Nelson's excellent feature in this week's paper. Pick up a print copy of The Stranger or read it here. A taste:

When I got the gun home, I stared at it, held it, pondered it, and tried hard to think of it as mine. There it was, undeniably owned by me, in all its clunky, boxy, Glocky glory.

Sitting there on my kitchen table, unloaded but next to a box of bullets, it was almost as though the gun was pulsating. The center of gravity in the room changed unmistakably. It was now a room with a gun in it.

As I loaded the magazine with bullets (a bit of a squeeze, PS), I literally flinched as I imagined misfiring. What if one of these little brass and lead numbers went out the window and hit someone waiting for the bus across the street, or went through the wall and hit one of my neighbors, or went across the room and hit one of my dogs? How many lives could be ended, and how many more ruined, all because of this ugly L-shaped tool?

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Two More Women Accuse Franken of Groping

TKTK
Franken's response: “It’s difficult to respond to anonymous accusers, and I don’t remember those campaign events.” Joe Raedle / Getty

When radio anchor Leeann Tweeden told the story of Al Franken sticking his tongue down her throat while rehearsing for a USO show, she said she did so because "because there may be others." Welp, two days ago a second woman claimed Franken grabbed her butt during a photograph in 2010, when he was a sitting senator.

And now two women are telling HuffPost similar stories about Franken's groping:

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Savage Love Letter of the Day: Men Are Pigs and Other Things We Already Knew

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My god the last four weeks have been torture. Of course #metoo and of course I knew intellectually and sometimes experientially that all of this happens all the time, but reading these women's stories again and again and again over the past few weeks has made it harder to get through the day.

I know #notallmen, but I have to admit, I wake up and read the news, and I find myself saying, my god, men are disgusting. The stories are not only the stories of women's abuse, they are glimpses into the dirty, filthy minds of men, and it's affecting me in ways I would never have anticipated. I go into town to go to the store and I look at every man and wonder what he's thinking. A man looks at me, and I want to scream "You'd better not be thinking things about me!" I don't know if women are just as dirty; perhaps some are. I know that I do not have these thoughts about other people. I am no prude, I love sex, and when I'm in bed with someone, I think about what I'd like to do to the other person, and what I'd like them to do to me. But the rest of the time I go through life thinking about other things, and I guess I thought that other people do too (and conveniently blocked out the fact that all men watch porn, and, yes, all men are thinking dirty thoughts most of the time).

The sexual harassment stories have broken my bubble. I can't escape the truth about what might be going through the minds of all the men surrounding me. And the immediate consequence is that I cannot imagine myself having sex with a man ever again, at least I cannot imagine it right now. I realize I'll get over this. And I'm lucky: I'm bi, so I could in fact choose never to have sex with a man and sleep only with women from now on. Oh, the many times I've said this to myself in the past four weeks! I realize too that sex is not the same as sexual harassment, but it's hard for me to separate the sexual acts from the lust for power and the misogyny when reading these women's stories.

I'm writing because I'm curious if I'm the only one or if other women (and perhaps men) are having similar problems dealing with this onslaught of horrors.

Sad About Disgusting Stories

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MoPOP's Jimi Hendrix 75 Event Finds Yet More Reasons to Hail the Guitar God

Jimis ax is bold and lovable.
Jimi's ax is bold and lovable.

The birth of Johnny Allen Hendrix, November 27, 1942, in Seattle, signaled only a tiny ping in the big world. Lucille Jeter Hendrix took her baby home. Her husband, Al Hendrix, was on Army duty in Alabama. His commanding officer not only refused Al the customary leave for the birth of a child, but stuck the young solider in the stockade, to prevent him from going AWOL. The father was allowed to receive a telegram, announcing his son’s birth. He did not set eyes on his baby until 1945.

Seventy-five years later, Johnny Allen Hendrix, better known as Jimi Hendrix, has a whole day devoted to the man many consider rock's greatest guitarist's life, work, and legacy, complete with artifacts, films, and enough birthday cake “to feed 150 people,” according to Jacob McMurray, Senior Curator at or the Museum of Pop Culture (aka MoPOP, formerly the Experience Music Project). Of course, Jimi won’t be on hand—he died in 1970. Still, this birthday celebration, held on November 25, 10 am to 7 pm at MoPOP, hopes to both toast and reveal his brief yet eventful life.

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Our Love of Plastics Has Become a Dirty Fetish

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The plexiglass-sculptor/dream-weaver/fantasy-maker Marina Fini has completely transformed Mount Analogue's bookstore and gallery into a fantastical neon-dripping motel room. The LA artist's installation is called, not surprisingly, Motelscape.

Fini's first Motelscape was built for Art Basel in Miami Beach, where she collaborated with three other artists to transform one room at the Miami Princess Hotel into a hot-pink oasis. At Mount Analogue's invitation, Fini has brought her trippy furniture and holographic wallpaper to a city that is nothing like Miami: Seattle.

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Denzel Washington Walks Like a Mind Without a Body in Roman J. Israel, Esq.

Walk this way...
Walk this way...

Let's begin by recalling Jake Gyllenhaal’s bulging eyes in Dan Gilroy’s excellent thriller Nightcrawler. They are the eyes of a man who almost entirely lives in his head. With those eyes in mind, let's turn to the star of a new film that's also directed Gilroy, Roman J. Israel, Esq. Denzel Washington—a black American actor who has handled his Hollywood career far more prudently and effectively than, say, Will Smith—plays Mr. Israel, a man who, like Gyllenhaal's character in Nightcrawler, lives deep inside of his head. But we see his extreme inwardness not in his eyes but manner of walk.

Roman J. Israel is a lawyer who has a monstrous memory. He can recall with no effort all of the details of dead and forgotten cases; he also lives in his vivid dreams of a better and more just American society. He walks like his mind has no idea that it has a body. Each step Israel takes is as stupid and graceless as the one before it and the one to come. The film is not Washington’s best, but it, and that mindless/lumbering walk, will not disappoint Washington’s fans.


Look, a Rainbow

Hot take.
Hot take. SB

Shut down Twitter and look out the window. Everyone is terrible, but hey, a rainbow.


Global Warming Brings the Tropics to Pacific Northwest's Turkey Holiday—Almost 70F in Seattle

It looks like fall but it feels like summer is around the corner.
It looks like fall but it feels like summer is around the corner. Charles Mudede

The popular weatherperson Cliff Mass explained in his post "Tropical Air over Seattle," that this morning "our low temperature (56F) was the HIGHEST low temperature ever recorded in November at Seattle Tacoma Airport." Indeed. It's usually supposed to be in the mid-40s around this time of the year. Mass writes: "The temperatures today will delight you." But everyone I've met on the street or in the cafe where I had lunch, Cafe Presse, was not exactly happy about this abnormal warmth. What can it mean? Why are temperatures so high? It just has to be all of the carbon we are releasing into the sewer we call the sky. That's what people are thinking—anthropogenic global warming; that's why people are not so gung-ho about a tropical Thanksgiving in the Pacific Northwest.

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Some Picks for Record Store Day’s Black Friday 2017

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Record Store Day happens every April, but it’s a holiday so nice, they hold it twice. The Black Friday edition of RSD comes the day after Thanksgiving, so avoid the mass of humanity at the big-box stores by getting to your local independent record shop and picking up these limited items—and don’t listen to the fun-hating snobs who pooh-pooh the event as a crass commercial exercise. There’s a solid batch of releases for this year’s Black Friday, which you can peep in its entirety at recordstoreday.com. These are our picks for the most crucial items. (Find a list of participating stores here.)

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Why Did Racist Ceramicist Charles Krafft Change His Profile Picture to Charles Mudede?

What the fuck?
What the fuck? Facebook

Charles Krafft is a ceramicist whose reputation took a nosedive after former Stranger arts writer Jen Graves exposed him as a white nationalist Holocaust denier. Krafft more recently appeared in a story published on this site about Seattle’s annual white nationalist convention, which he attended.

Aside from his first name, Krafft has little in common with Stranger film editor Charles Mudede. Several years ago, he attended a talk hosted by Mudede at Capitol Hill Arts Center. Other than that, the two have only met in passing and not since Krafft’s outing as a racist.

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NewsCity

Superior Court Judge Rules Against Seattle Income Tax, Appeal On the Way

The scene at City Hall when the council passed the income tax in July.
The scene at City Hall when the council passed the income tax in July. HG

Seattle's income tax on people making more than $250,000 annually violates state law and is therefore invalid, a King County Superior Court judge ruled today.

The ruling comes after oral arguments Friday.

Along with a 1930s Supreme Court ruling against a state income tax, state law says cities and counties cannot impose income taxes. In arguing the case Friday, lawyers for the City of Seattle and the Economic Opportunity Institute argued the tax is legal because it's actually an excise tax on "the privilege" of working or living in Seattle, rather than an income tax.

King County Superior Court Judge John Ruhl rejected that argument in a 27-page ruling today.

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The FCC Also Wants to Destroy Access to Phone and Internet Services for Low-Income People

Chairman Pai isnt done yet. Also, what a dumb mug.
Chairman Pai isn't done yet. Also, what a dumb mug. BLOOMBERG VIA GETTY IMAGES

FCC Chairman Ajit Pai has been pretty busy these past couple of weeks. He’s taking the lead on trying to dismantle net neutrality so that internet service providers can hijack your access to the internet by charging more for certain websites and content.

But it looks like he isn’t completely satisfied with un-leveling the playing field just yet—because there’s still poor people to fuck with! So, last week the FCC voted to dramatically scale back a federal program which provides discounted phone and internet service to low-income Americans.

And the cuts to this program will hit the elderly, students, and people living in rural areas and tribal reservations the hardest.

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Pixar’s Coco Tackles Mortality with Humor and Depth

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Coco, the new Pixar film that’s set in Mexico during Dia de los Muertos, handles the subject of death with humor, lightness, and depth. The “Coco” in question is the oldest living relative of the film’s young protagonist, Miguel (voiced by Anthony Gonzalez), but the story is driven by Miguel’s passion for becoming a musician—and the conflicted relationship he has with his family, who label music as “bad” for reasons he has yet to learn.

But Miguel is tenacious when it comes to performing (“I’m gonna play Mariachi Plaza if it kills me!”), and after his abuelita smashes his guitar, Miguel steals the guitar of a famous ancestor. Since taking from the dead is a big no-no—especially on Dia de los Muertos—Miguel crosses over into the Land of the Dead.

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