Miss Texas 1988 is the self-appointed attorney general of drag.
Miss Texas 1988 is the attorney general of drag. Courtesy of Miss Texas 1988

It's Tuesday, April 28, and a week from today, the outdoors will partially reopen. That's how bleak this downside-up, outside-in world is.

Given the choas, The Stranger has not been able to independently confirm that Miss Texas is actually "the" attorney general of drag, but she certainly seems to think she is.

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"You might be having a rough go of it right now," the attorney general of drag says in her message. "There's a lot of stuff in the air. The ozone layer. Children's cartoons. Cashews."

To help you get through the haze of despair and cashews, she's prepared a list of "fun" "ideas" of things to do in quarantine:

Hahahaha. Tip Miss Texas right now, that was amazing.

Miss Texas describes herself as "part drag queen, part clown, and 100% considerate ball of chaos." Where does her name come from? She says:

"Miss Texas 1988" came about when a bartender insulted a gaudy blue and silver dress I was wearing by saying I looked like "Miss Texas 1988." I proudly took the title and the bartender is a lovely friend of mine. For me, the name represents all of the conflicting, campy, violent, hopeful, desperate, prideful, and bombastic components of "glamor" and "success"—wrapped in anachronism, feminism, and very cheap earrings.

After a fierce competition, she was named Critter Person 2018. She won R Place's "So You Think You Can Drag" competition in 2019. And she is a renowned defeatee of the Bacon Strip 2018 Unpageant.

Take this moment to really embrace mindfulness.
"Take this moment to really embrace mindfulness." Courtesy of Miss Texas 1988

On April 30, Miss Texas will be part of the Subkulture livestream for the Capitol Hill Arts Streaming Festival. On the same day, she will be in the streaming party for TUSH (the drag show that usually happens at the Clock-Out Lounge).

She's also usually in R Place's Lashes: Living Room Edition which streams on weekends at 10 pm.

You can follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

Very official portrait.
Very official portrait.

Thank you so much for the message, Miss Tex—er, Madame Attorney General!!

May we all have a little better luck than you did finding things to do today. (If you need ideas, start here.)

Don't inject disinfectants, kids.


* *
Previously in this series:


Cherdonnas message to the city on April 26.
Cherdonna's message to the city on April 26.

Shenandoah Daviss message to the city on April 25.
Shenandoah Davis's message to the city on April 25.

Lorena Gonzálezs message to the city on April 24.
Lorena González's message to the city on April 24.

Clyde Petersens message to the city on April 23.
Clyde Petersen's message to the city on April 23.

David Ritts message to the city on April 22.
David Ritt's message to the city on April 22.

Sara Porkalobs message to the city on April 21.
Sara Porkalob's message to the city on April 21.

Julia Sweeneys message to the city on April 20.
Julia Sweeney's message to the city on April 20.

Linda Derschangs message to the city on April 19.
Linda Derschang's message to the city on April 19.

Molly Sidess message to the city on April 18.
Molly Sides's message to the city on April 18.

Nick Garrisons message to the city on April 17.
Nick Garrison's message to the city on April 17.

Tomo Nakayamas message to the city on April 16.
Tomo Nakayama's message to the city on April 16.

Rebecca M. Daviss message to the city April 15.
Rebecca M. Davis's message to the city April 15.

Heather McHughs message to the city on April 14.
Heather McHugh's message to the city on April 14.

Brandon ONeills message to the city on April 13.
Brandon O'Neill's message to the city on April 13.

Kate Wallichs message to the city on April 12.
Kate Wallich's message to the city on April 12.

Rebecca Browns message to the city on April 11.
Rebecca Brown's message to the city on April 11.

Lucien Postlewaites message to the city on April 10.
Lucien Postlewaite's message to the city on April 10.

Betty Wetters message to the city on April 9.
Betty Wetter's message to the city on April 9.

Amanda Morgans message to the city on April 8.
Amanda Morgan's message to the city on April 8.

Nancy Guppys message to the city on April 7.
Nancy Guppy's message to the city on April 7.

Jonathan Bisss message to the city on April 6.
Jonathan Biss's message to the city on April 6.

Chris Jeffriess message to the city on April 5.
Chris Jeffries's message to the city on April 5.

Lesley Hazletons message to the city on April 4.
Lesley Hazleton's message to the city on April 4.

John Rodericks message to the city on April 3.
John Roderick's message to the city on April 3.

Bill Cartys message to the city on April 2.
Bill Carty's message to the city on April 2.

Price Suddarths message to the city on April 1.
Price Suddarth's message to the city on April 1.

Kary Waysons message to the city on March 31.
Kary Wayson's message to the city on March 31.

Ellen Forneys message to the city on March 30.
Ellen Forney's message to the city on March 30.

Major Scaless message to the city on March 29.
Major Scales's message to the city on March 29.

E. J. Kohs message to the city on March 28.
E. J. Koh's message to the city on March 28.

Ken Jenningss message to the city on March 27.
Ken Jennings's message to the city on March 27.

Demarre McGills message to the city on March 26.
Demarre McGill's message to the city on March 26.

Lynn Sheltons Message to the City on March 25th.
Lynn Shelton's Message to the City on March 25th.

Timothy White Eagles message to the city on March 24.
Timothy White Eagle's message to the city on March 24.

Cookie Coutures message to the city on March 23.
Cookie Couture's message to the city on March 23.

Sarah Rudinoffs message to the city on March 22.
Sarah Rudinoff's message to the city on March 22.

John Osebolds message to the city on March 21.
John Osebold's message to the city on March 21.


Ben Gibbards message to the city on March 21.
Ben Gibbard's message to the city on March 20.

Nathan Chans message to the city on March 19.
Nathan Chan's message to the city on March 19.